I've been scolded for a lack of blog posts, it is the busiest time of year around the office, so hopefully you all can cut me some slack.
There are pros and cons to carrying smartphones. Of course, the list of pros could go on forever. But the cons, well, they can be heavy. We were in the car on the way home and we had a conversation where the key piece of information was in my phone. Someone had texted me a schedule and we needed to know the date. I made the mistake of pulling off the side of the road to check it...rather than just unlock and hand the phone over.
I knew it felt awkward at the time, and later that evening, we had to have "a talk". How she doesn't feel she trusts me because of that, and how it made her feel that I didn't just hand it over. I'm more guarded of my phone than she is, letting the kids, and everyone just use it as they wish. I've never been comfortable with that, and of course, i do have some things that shouldn't be seen hidden away in there. I don't keep pictures in it, but there's a couple apps that wouldn't be good to be stumbled upon. (Google Drive, you lifesaver!)
I'm sure it would have been just fine, but I just don't like people looking at stuff on my phone, makes me very uncomfortable. I don't ask to look at yours, so...
Funny thing, when we have any issues along these lines, we tend to get very hot and heavy in the sex department. It somehow brings us together more, rebuilding trust and comfort, I guess. Not complaining, just observing. We all have reasons we don't get with our partners as much as we should...fatigue, illness, attitude...and we don't take advantage of having our lover next to us as much as we should. I need to be more cognizant of that, I do enjoy our sex life, and we need to take more advantage of it, especially as our kids are starting to be away from home more.
I'm getting better about feeling confident about myself, a little Grindr lurking will knock you down a few pegs if you let it. A younger guy wanted to see more pics, i sent a couple, and then he spent 10 minutes quizzing me about how old the pics were, if I still looked the same, had I changed in any way. Basically asking if I'd gotten fatter than the pics. They were from a year and a half ago, i suppose, so not much had changed. I finally just told him I could see he had reservations, and that I was no longer 25 years old, and bodies don't stay firm and toned like they used to. Of course, that ended the conversation, and I'm sure I was blocked.
I did finally meet the guy from the next town over in person, and as many times like that go, I was disappointed. I felt misled by some things, and while he wanted to do a little more, I wasn't comfortable, and we parted ways. It's never easy, but I've evolved a bit from feeling like I was lucky to attract anyone to thinking there were many more chances out there. A bit of growth, I guess!
I have a trip coming up in October, so I do have that to look forward to...to new adventures!
Let me know how you're doing, I miss talking to you guys.
