Every once in a while, you catch a break. Or you think you did, and then in retrospect, your insecurities jump up and slap you.
In my hotel room, had been messaging with a guy about my impending trip. The pics looked good, and he seemed genuinely interested. About 9 in the evening, with a thunderstorm approaching, he makes his way over to the hotel. That's commitment, there...
He comes in the room, and, oh, lordy...6 foot 4, broad shouldered, nice mop of black hair, handsome with a nice set of teeth (details are a funny thing, aren't they?). He had barely gotten in the room, gave a quick hi, and he was undressing. Little did I know that was the last talk I'd hear from him until he was walking out the door...
Tanned body, shaved all over, i could go on and on about what a physical specimen this guy was. Things started out well, we made out - love that - ran hands all over each other. We made it to the bed, he laid back and I climbed on top, again, making out, licking his neck, ears, nipples, moving back up, and down, he even tasted good!
He enjoyed playing with my nipples. I do enjoy that, so was glad to have some action. Gave him some head, sucked those smooth balls, up, down and all around. He seemed to enjoy my fingers, so I found myself rimming him. I don't do that often, but damned if the guy didn't taste so good! I finally got some moans out of him, so i dug in for the long haul. I tongued that hole...and licked...and sucked...he enjoyed it, and I did too. I rubbed my cock head all around it, but with no protection, didn't push in. Restraint, right?
I worked a finger in, and went back to his cock. Felt it get bitter and bigger in my mouth, a little bucking of the hips, and a nudge of his prostate, and he was blowing in my mouth. Not a huge load, but enough that I could handle it.
He exited to the bathroom and cleaned up, came back in the room and said "You wanna get off?". I declined, one in hopes that i could find another playmate later, and also because it felt obvious that he wasn't usually a giver. Which leads me to the insecurities...
Why can't I just let myself enjoy this? A hot guy shows up in my room, we make out, lick, suck, and enjoy, and I still think "why didn't he go down on me? Was I unattractive to him? Just good enough to blow him but not good enough for him? Why didn't he talk?" I told him how hot he was...nothing in return. He barely spoke.
So I just need to let that go. I had a hot time, and if he knocked on the door again, I'd lay him back and do it all over again. So, I need to stop being a baby, and just enjoy what life brings!
Do your insecurities get the best of you???
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Couples, Fantasies, and Awesome Chicks
I've been married 25 years. I have experimented...ok, not so much an experiment as I do know what I'm doing...with men along the way. I have only had two instances where i was naked with another woman during that time. Once, as part of a three way with a married couple, and once with a woman who I share all these things with, and is an awesome chick. She won't do me again, since I'm married, and attributes her weakness to a "slut phase". A guy will take what he can get, right?
I mean, a bisexual guy should want to be with both, right? Well, not necessarily, a common misconception is that a bisexual will sleep with anyone anytime. Not true. And it's been my take on my bi thing that I have my woman, and don't really look for anyone to fill that need, we do just fine, thanks.
Well, lately, I've been floating the idea in my head more. It's long been a fantasy to get with a couple, and even though it's happened once, I'd like to maybe do it again. But I'm struggling both with this idea, and with how I would make it happen. I toyed around a little bit on a swingers site, seeing if there was anybody around that would work. Some nibbles, a few conversations, but nothing that really has panned out.
Perhaps it's my sign that it's not meant to be. And likely it will pass from my brain, only to pop up in a few months or a couple years. But because it causes me such angst, maybe I should just let it go.
Are there fantasies that you long to try out? Does your brain try to override your dick so as not to have them happen? Or do you let them ride? I suppose my situation is different from most of my readers, but I'd love to hear.
Don't have much of a story for today, still recovering from last weekend...sigh...I know you're jealous. :)
I mean, a bisexual guy should want to be with both, right? Well, not necessarily, a common misconception is that a bisexual will sleep with anyone anytime. Not true. And it's been my take on my bi thing that I have my woman, and don't really look for anyone to fill that need, we do just fine, thanks.
Well, lately, I've been floating the idea in my head more. It's long been a fantasy to get with a couple, and even though it's happened once, I'd like to maybe do it again. But I'm struggling both with this idea, and with how I would make it happen. I toyed around a little bit on a swingers site, seeing if there was anybody around that would work. Some nibbles, a few conversations, but nothing that really has panned out.
Perhaps it's my sign that it's not meant to be. And likely it will pass from my brain, only to pop up in a few months or a couple years. But because it causes me such angst, maybe I should just let it go.
Are there fantasies that you long to try out? Does your brain try to override your dick so as not to have them happen? Or do you let them ride? I suppose my situation is different from most of my readers, but I'd love to hear.
Don't have much of a story for today, still recovering from last weekend...sigh...I know you're jealous. :)
Monday, June 13, 2016
Free time, booty calls, and BBC
**Post #10! Should there be bells, whistles and balloons dropping?? Still, all milestones are important.**
A weekend of errands and odd jobs, helping out others, I do enjoy staying busy. My wife would like a little less, but it makes me a little crazy to sit home too often. It's too hot here to be out in the yard, and you can only watch so many episodes of American Pickers before it's time to do something...
I ran up to the inlaws to check in on the house, do some yard work, and other assorted chores. The good news for me was that gave me some time alone...more on that later. Caring for our aging parents is becoming more and more the norm, and I get not wanting to leave your house, with the comfort and familiarity. I talked with my dad (who's 90) this week, and he said he's ready to move out, to find something smaller and get away from upkeep and yard work. He (rightfully so) says he can't keep up with the yard, the small repairs, and other things that come with home ownership. He wants to move to the retirement duplex complex across town from my job. It would be great to have them here, but mom (at 78) isn't ready to leave yet.
We dread the day that we will have to clean out our respective parents homes, my folks don't have a lot of stuff, so shouldn't be too bad, but my inlaws have a house packed with things, grew up with nothing, so have taken the opportunity to buy things when no kids were around. I don't want to be a burden on my kids, and hope to not saddle them with a lot of work when I'm gone.
Wow, this took a morbid turn. Maybe it's the recent birthday, but thinking a little more about edging toward retirement and beyond. I need to get my mind wrapped around this...
As mentioned before, when I drive to the inlaws, I pass a couple of our metropolitan areas here (not that it's anything like a big city, but as big as Iowa has to offer, i guess). If I know i have a little flexibility with time, I sometimes place and ad on CL, or take a look at what's out there. I did a little pre-planning, and put an ad online about mid week. I usually include a cock shot, I have a portrait I'm enamored with, of my very photogenic wang standing tall and proud. It usually elicits a few responses, but normally not much that turns my head.
This time, I got a response from a guy who claimed to be not far off the interstate (he wasn't), and wanted me to "blow him, and if it went well, I could sit on it". Wow, the romance was dripping from this one. But, my intense state of horniness and the picture he replied with made it at least worth a conversation. A big ol' dick, nicely thick, got my mouth to watering. So I replied, and a cryptic conversation ensued, asking about available times, locations, etc. He wasn't going to be free on my trip up, but should be on the way home. So tentative plans were made for me to stop by on Saturday.
After lunch Saturday, I headed down the road, and messaged that I was leaving, should be in his area in a little over an hour. Got a quick "OK" a few minutes later, then a note that said he was going out for lunch. As I approached, I sent another quick note, and a reply came quickly with directions to the house. I wound around through a residential area to a set of townhomes. Not a bad area, the townhouse was a little rough looking from the outside, but things seemed OK. I approached the door, and it was opened as I walked up the steps. I was greeted by a smiling face and an introduction, and an invitation in.
The inside of the place was nice, in a generic, white paint and beige carpet sort of way. I was offered water (declined, had some in the car on the way) then led upstairs to the spare room. The guy was super thin, weighed maybe 130 on a 6 foot frame. As we undressed, I was able to see that the picture wasn't a lie, a thick slab of meat hanging down, which was made to look huge by the thinness of his body.
He was completely shaved, explaining that he had never done that before, but just wanted to try it, with the hot weather, etc. I was glad to see it, love feeling skin on skin, and it made licking around so much easier. As I worked it over, it became thicker and harder, and topped out at a nice solid 8 inches. He was appreciative, telling me how well I was doing, and giving me the obligatorily "you love sucking that big black cock, don't you?". And he wasn't wrong.
He then swiveled around and worked on mine a little, saying he'd "never done that before". Whether or not it was true, it was nice to have some attention my way as well. Eventually I wanted to feel it in my ass, so he got things ready, and I started by climbing on top and sitting down on it, controlling the depth and speed while I got used to the invasion.
After a minute, I was bottomed out (see what I did there??) and started to work it over. His impatience showed, and he soon rolled me off and onto my stomach, added a little more lube, and started drilling me. Oh, I do love to feel cock sliding in and out of me. Stifling moans because of the neighbors on each side, he continued to drill me, getting me up on my hands and knees, then pulling me to the edge of the bed so he could stand and fuck, and finally flipping me onto my back, and pushing my knees to my chest. He was really able to attack my prostrate at this angle, and I felt it on each stroke, nudging it as his balls slapped my ass.
He probably worked me over for 10 minutes or so, then laid on the bed, pulled off the condom, and finished the job by hand while I licked his balls. He was very appreciative, and kind in bringing me supplies to clean up with. I did enjoy it, and hope to make another stop next time I'm traveling alone.
It does lead me to a couple questions...I work in a very race sensitive environment, very open and accepting, and feel like I want to judge not based on ethnicity but on character. That being said, he continued to talk about his "big black cock"...wasn't lying..., how my white ass looked with a big black dick in it, there were just remarks through the whole thing about race. I didn't mind, honestly, my eyes were closed most of the time, so I wasn't really aware of race, just bodies.
I didn't feel uncomfortable in hearing it, but did not feel comfortable making any remarks like "feed me that big black cock, make my white ass beg for it", etc. I do find black men attractive, and enjoy the dick that's attached, but don't' really want to go there. Is this a pretty common theme? Are interracial hookups usually met with talk like this? Or am I weird in that I like it, but don't want to verbalize? With Iowa at 96% or so Caucasian, it's not something I run into all that often. As always, appreciate your thoughts.
A weekend of errands and odd jobs, helping out others, I do enjoy staying busy. My wife would like a little less, but it makes me a little crazy to sit home too often. It's too hot here to be out in the yard, and you can only watch so many episodes of American Pickers before it's time to do something...
I ran up to the inlaws to check in on the house, do some yard work, and other assorted chores. The good news for me was that gave me some time alone...more on that later. Caring for our aging parents is becoming more and more the norm, and I get not wanting to leave your house, with the comfort and familiarity. I talked with my dad (who's 90) this week, and he said he's ready to move out, to find something smaller and get away from upkeep and yard work. He (rightfully so) says he can't keep up with the yard, the small repairs, and other things that come with home ownership. He wants to move to the retirement duplex complex across town from my job. It would be great to have them here, but mom (at 78) isn't ready to leave yet.
We dread the day that we will have to clean out our respective parents homes, my folks don't have a lot of stuff, so shouldn't be too bad, but my inlaws have a house packed with things, grew up with nothing, so have taken the opportunity to buy things when no kids were around. I don't want to be a burden on my kids, and hope to not saddle them with a lot of work when I'm gone.
Wow, this took a morbid turn. Maybe it's the recent birthday, but thinking a little more about edging toward retirement and beyond. I need to get my mind wrapped around this...
As mentioned before, when I drive to the inlaws, I pass a couple of our metropolitan areas here (not that it's anything like a big city, but as big as Iowa has to offer, i guess). If I know i have a little flexibility with time, I sometimes place and ad on CL, or take a look at what's out there. I did a little pre-planning, and put an ad online about mid week. I usually include a cock shot, I have a portrait I'm enamored with, of my very photogenic wang standing tall and proud. It usually elicits a few responses, but normally not much that turns my head.
This time, I got a response from a guy who claimed to be not far off the interstate (he wasn't), and wanted me to "blow him, and if it went well, I could sit on it". Wow, the romance was dripping from this one. But, my intense state of horniness and the picture he replied with made it at least worth a conversation. A big ol' dick, nicely thick, got my mouth to watering. So I replied, and a cryptic conversation ensued, asking about available times, locations, etc. He wasn't going to be free on my trip up, but should be on the way home. So tentative plans were made for me to stop by on Saturday.
After lunch Saturday, I headed down the road, and messaged that I was leaving, should be in his area in a little over an hour. Got a quick "OK" a few minutes later, then a note that said he was going out for lunch. As I approached, I sent another quick note, and a reply came quickly with directions to the house. I wound around through a residential area to a set of townhomes. Not a bad area, the townhouse was a little rough looking from the outside, but things seemed OK. I approached the door, and it was opened as I walked up the steps. I was greeted by a smiling face and an introduction, and an invitation in.
The inside of the place was nice, in a generic, white paint and beige carpet sort of way. I was offered water (declined, had some in the car on the way) then led upstairs to the spare room. The guy was super thin, weighed maybe 130 on a 6 foot frame. As we undressed, I was able to see that the picture wasn't a lie, a thick slab of meat hanging down, which was made to look huge by the thinness of his body.
He was completely shaved, explaining that he had never done that before, but just wanted to try it, with the hot weather, etc. I was glad to see it, love feeling skin on skin, and it made licking around so much easier. As I worked it over, it became thicker and harder, and topped out at a nice solid 8 inches. He was appreciative, telling me how well I was doing, and giving me the obligatorily "you love sucking that big black cock, don't you?". And he wasn't wrong.
He then swiveled around and worked on mine a little, saying he'd "never done that before". Whether or not it was true, it was nice to have some attention my way as well. Eventually I wanted to feel it in my ass, so he got things ready, and I started by climbing on top and sitting down on it, controlling the depth and speed while I got used to the invasion.
After a minute, I was bottomed out (see what I did there??) and started to work it over. His impatience showed, and he soon rolled me off and onto my stomach, added a little more lube, and started drilling me. Oh, I do love to feel cock sliding in and out of me. Stifling moans because of the neighbors on each side, he continued to drill me, getting me up on my hands and knees, then pulling me to the edge of the bed so he could stand and fuck, and finally flipping me onto my back, and pushing my knees to my chest. He was really able to attack my prostrate at this angle, and I felt it on each stroke, nudging it as his balls slapped my ass.
He probably worked me over for 10 minutes or so, then laid on the bed, pulled off the condom, and finished the job by hand while I licked his balls. He was very appreciative, and kind in bringing me supplies to clean up with. I did enjoy it, and hope to make another stop next time I'm traveling alone.
It does lead me to a couple questions...I work in a very race sensitive environment, very open and accepting, and feel like I want to judge not based on ethnicity but on character. That being said, he continued to talk about his "big black cock"...wasn't lying..., how my white ass looked with a big black dick in it, there were just remarks through the whole thing about race. I didn't mind, honestly, my eyes were closed most of the time, so I wasn't really aware of race, just bodies.
I didn't feel uncomfortable in hearing it, but did not feel comfortable making any remarks like "feed me that big black cock, make my white ass beg for it", etc. I do find black men attractive, and enjoy the dick that's attached, but don't' really want to go there. Is this a pretty common theme? Are interracial hookups usually met with talk like this? Or am I weird in that I like it, but don't want to verbalize? With Iowa at 96% or so Caucasian, it's not something I run into all that often. As always, appreciate your thoughts.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Brain vs. Body, Workout Buddies, and Muscles
As I age, I'm fully aware of the effect that the years have on a body. Joints creak, muscles fade, extra padding accumulates in way too many areas. I struggle with the battle between knowing that some of this is a part of the process, and being just vain enough that it bothers me. The extra weight I'm currently carrying, the grey sneaking in (ok, it really isn't sneaking, more barging through the door with a bunch of friends) to my hair, the hair sprouting from my eyebrows, ears and back...I guess the outward signs of aging bother me more than the knowledge that it's happening.
I feel youthful and vibrant in my brain. My body sometimes doesn't get that message, and tires out easily or doesn't react very quickly to what I want it to do. But I learn more and more what all the older people told me all along...I don't "feel" over 50. My brain doesn't realize it, save for the experiences and knowledge that it holds that is SO much greater than when I was 20, 30, or even 40. So I have to figure out how my "young" brain can comprehend this aging body.
The self-analyst in me wonders if that's part of my lust for youth. I don't get to do it often, but to hook up with a young, nubile, thin to muscular younger man, or a very fit mid 30s bodybuilder (that only happened once, but it was SOOO hot), I can't stop desiring to look, smell, taste, and feel that body next to mine. Run my hands along a thin waist, feel some definition in the shoulders and back, grab onto that nice tight ass...is it me reliving my youth, when things were more where they were supposed to be? Or is is more simple, an appreciation for the male form, and enjoying what it has to offer?
What I'm finding is how difficult it is once you're out of shape, to get back to where you should be. After I recover from our big family event, I'm going to get going. Treadmill, jogging and walking, hoping for a few weights (I'm smart enough to know that's what helps burn the fat) and while I haven't been over indulging, watching more closely what goes into my mouth. Maybe I need my friend BlkJack (http://blkjack-blkjack.blogspot.com/) to come whip my slightly flabby ass into shape. Motivation and a workout buddy would do wonders for me. Any local takers?
In reference to the note above...and I know you're wanting to hear that story...I was on one of my Chicago business trips. As usual, perusing the A4A, Manhunt, and Craigslist. I don't recall if I placed an ad this time, or if I answered another. Regardless, I found myself talking to a mid-30s guy, who claimed to be very muscular and fit. I've been burned often enough to not get my hopes up for that, but he was engaging enough, and we clicked with what we were looking for, so the invitation was offered to come to my hotel on Michigan.
We made arrangements to meet in the lobby at 10pm. At 10:15, I had sent a quick note and was figuring it was yet another time that I was set up as part of a game. (I never understand that game, how someone can get off on leading a guy on, then not showing. But that's a story for another post.) I did get a response, something something running late, so with nothing better to do, I waited. Another email, another running late response, sorry, will be there soon.
At about 10:45, he did arrive. And, holy shit, he was as advertised. 6 foot 1 inch of worked out, tanned muscle. Big, wide smile, short cropped black hair, and well dressed, making me feel self conscious in my Hawkeye baggy shorts and old t-shirt. No problem, though, and after exchanging a couple pleasantries, we headed up to my room.
We wasted no time in getting out of the clothes, me staring at him the whole time, taking in the beauty of that body. And if it wasn't unfair enough, a nice thick 8" slab of meat looking up at me. He was confident without being overconfident, cocky without the annoyance of bragging. He knew he was hot, and for some reason, was crawling into bed with me.
What stuck me, as we were talking, making out, and feeling the magnificent musculature he possessed, I asked him why. Why, when it appeared he could have so many younger, more fit, and better looking guys than me, did he come here? He said he loved the "beefy Iowa farm boys", that we were so much fun in bed...
Well, that certainly changed some of my perceptions. About attraction, stereotypes, and more. But mostly, it challenged me to live up to the hype. So I devoured his cock hungrily, chewed his nipples with fervor, licked up and down each and every one of those abs. He returned the favor (minus the fluff covered abs), and readied me to be fucked. Ass up on a pillow, he crawled on top of me, and gently eased his dick into me as he kissed me deeply. God, I love kissing, and especially while I have a cock in me. Slowly at first, knowing I had to adjust, then harder he pumped, and this time I took it as a compliment that within a couple minutes, he was emptying his balls. I wanted it to last longer, but it was so hot...it was incredible.
And, too add even more to the mix, he rolled off and laid by me, arm across my chest, and we talked. For a half hour or so, discussing his travels across I-80, his love of small towns (hey, I live in one!), and my experiences in the big city. No better end to a fervent fuck than to decompress with a great conversation. It was one of the better hook up experiences I've had.
As most hook ups go, thought, he soon disappeared into the dim light of the hallway, never to be heard from again. I long to duplicate that experience, and probably, that's what drives me to keep looking. How many bad ones can I endure between the greats? Hopefully I'll find enough good ones to never know the answer.
I feel youthful and vibrant in my brain. My body sometimes doesn't get that message, and tires out easily or doesn't react very quickly to what I want it to do. But I learn more and more what all the older people told me all along...I don't "feel" over 50. My brain doesn't realize it, save for the experiences and knowledge that it holds that is SO much greater than when I was 20, 30, or even 40. So I have to figure out how my "young" brain can comprehend this aging body.
The self-analyst in me wonders if that's part of my lust for youth. I don't get to do it often, but to hook up with a young, nubile, thin to muscular younger man, or a very fit mid 30s bodybuilder (that only happened once, but it was SOOO hot), I can't stop desiring to look, smell, taste, and feel that body next to mine. Run my hands along a thin waist, feel some definition in the shoulders and back, grab onto that nice tight ass...is it me reliving my youth, when things were more where they were supposed to be? Or is is more simple, an appreciation for the male form, and enjoying what it has to offer?
What I'm finding is how difficult it is once you're out of shape, to get back to where you should be. After I recover from our big family event, I'm going to get going. Treadmill, jogging and walking, hoping for a few weights (I'm smart enough to know that's what helps burn the fat) and while I haven't been over indulging, watching more closely what goes into my mouth. Maybe I need my friend BlkJack (http://blkjack-blkjack.blogspot.com/) to come whip my slightly flabby ass into shape. Motivation and a workout buddy would do wonders for me. Any local takers?
In reference to the note above...and I know you're wanting to hear that story...I was on one of my Chicago business trips. As usual, perusing the A4A, Manhunt, and Craigslist. I don't recall if I placed an ad this time, or if I answered another. Regardless, I found myself talking to a mid-30s guy, who claimed to be very muscular and fit. I've been burned often enough to not get my hopes up for that, but he was engaging enough, and we clicked with what we were looking for, so the invitation was offered to come to my hotel on Michigan.
We made arrangements to meet in the lobby at 10pm. At 10:15, I had sent a quick note and was figuring it was yet another time that I was set up as part of a game. (I never understand that game, how someone can get off on leading a guy on, then not showing. But that's a story for another post.) I did get a response, something something running late, so with nothing better to do, I waited. Another email, another running late response, sorry, will be there soon.
At about 10:45, he did arrive. And, holy shit, he was as advertised. 6 foot 1 inch of worked out, tanned muscle. Big, wide smile, short cropped black hair, and well dressed, making me feel self conscious in my Hawkeye baggy shorts and old t-shirt. No problem, though, and after exchanging a couple pleasantries, we headed up to my room.
We wasted no time in getting out of the clothes, me staring at him the whole time, taking in the beauty of that body. And if it wasn't unfair enough, a nice thick 8" slab of meat looking up at me. He was confident without being overconfident, cocky without the annoyance of bragging. He knew he was hot, and for some reason, was crawling into bed with me.
What stuck me, as we were talking, making out, and feeling the magnificent musculature he possessed, I asked him why. Why, when it appeared he could have so many younger, more fit, and better looking guys than me, did he come here? He said he loved the "beefy Iowa farm boys", that we were so much fun in bed...
Well, that certainly changed some of my perceptions. About attraction, stereotypes, and more. But mostly, it challenged me to live up to the hype. So I devoured his cock hungrily, chewed his nipples with fervor, licked up and down each and every one of those abs. He returned the favor (minus the fluff covered abs), and readied me to be fucked. Ass up on a pillow, he crawled on top of me, and gently eased his dick into me as he kissed me deeply. God, I love kissing, and especially while I have a cock in me. Slowly at first, knowing I had to adjust, then harder he pumped, and this time I took it as a compliment that within a couple minutes, he was emptying his balls. I wanted it to last longer, but it was so hot...it was incredible.
And, too add even more to the mix, he rolled off and laid by me, arm across my chest, and we talked. For a half hour or so, discussing his travels across I-80, his love of small towns (hey, I live in one!), and my experiences in the big city. No better end to a fervent fuck than to decompress with a great conversation. It was one of the better hook up experiences I've had.
As most hook ups go, thought, he soon disappeared into the dim light of the hallway, never to be heard from again. I long to duplicate that experience, and probably, that's what drives me to keep looking. How many bad ones can I endure between the greats? Hopefully I'll find enough good ones to never know the answer.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Technology, Longing, and Funk
Sometimes I just sit and wonder in amazement the way technology has influenced our lives. How would I have been different if I had access to all this when I was younger? What decisions would I have made if I had access to online hookup sites and more anonymous ways to explore my sexuality? An interesting hypothetical, but we can't change the past...
I love what it's done for us, though, from medicine to entertainment, information distribution and decision making to interpersonal communication. It's so ingrained in everything I do now, it's difficult to imagine doing things without it. When I was my kids age, you could use the credit card on the machine that made the cha-chunk noise, and imprinted it on to paper. Now you can touch your phone to a receptor and money transfers automatically. So amazing, incredible, and scary.
It's helpful, of course, in finding potential playmates, and GPS technology lets me know that there's a guy on Grindr within 38 feet of me at this time. And although I know this, and know him, it does give communication possibilities that don't impede on my private life, and of course, lets him reject me in a very impersonal and efficient way. (Not many 22 year olds are shopping for old guys like me...but I'm finding some are! :)
I feel very selfish thinking about it, because it brings up the "if I knew then what I know now" scenarios, and my life would likely be vastly different. The bigger question is...would it be better? For me, perhaps, living my true self would be very fulfilling in the most personal way, but the relationship I have with my wife, and of course, having my children...I can't think about not having them in my life. Very bittersweet, the thought of personal fulfillment weighed against what I have in a wonderful set of people I call my own.
Perfect world? Everything, of course. Current relationship, expanded to include me having the ability to explore my bisexuality, would be so awesome. But...not in the cards. So I trudge on, doing my thing, in secret, and hoping it doesn't blow up in my face.
So I was urged to give the gory details of my Mall of America experience. I was in MSP with a group, and the Mall was one of our stops. 3 hours of shopping. Not my bag. So, out comes the phone, and Grindr finds me several guys that must be wandering around the mall as well. After a couple of conversations, I find a potential match in a guy that wasn't in the mall, but lived nearby. Long story short, he came over to the mall with his van, which had no windows behind the seats. Seems sketchy, I know, but one head overruled the other.
A little conversation on the top floor of the ramp, and I felt comfortable enough to climb inside. Pretty vacant up there on a weekday, and found a secluded corner to park it in so we could rock it a little. Good kisser, nice dick, and we swapped some head until he was wanting to be fucked. Who am I to turn down such an offer?
He came prepared, so he lubed up while I rolled it on. Hitting him from behind is not my favorite position, but the one called for in this situation. He liked what he was getting, from the grunts and squeals he was trying to muffle. After a few minutes, I blasted into the condom, and he nutted onto the floor of the van right after. A little post-orgasmic kissing and I was needing to head out. The blast of fresh air that hit me when the door opened woke my senses, and reminded me that the funk of a well fucked ass was lingering in the van.
I guess I was a little more adventurous in my younger days...
I love what it's done for us, though, from medicine to entertainment, information distribution and decision making to interpersonal communication. It's so ingrained in everything I do now, it's difficult to imagine doing things without it. When I was my kids age, you could use the credit card on the machine that made the cha-chunk noise, and imprinted it on to paper. Now you can touch your phone to a receptor and money transfers automatically. So amazing, incredible, and scary.
It's helpful, of course, in finding potential playmates, and GPS technology lets me know that there's a guy on Grindr within 38 feet of me at this time. And although I know this, and know him, it does give communication possibilities that don't impede on my private life, and of course, lets him reject me in a very impersonal and efficient way. (Not many 22 year olds are shopping for old guys like me...but I'm finding some are! :)
I feel very selfish thinking about it, because it brings up the "if I knew then what I know now" scenarios, and my life would likely be vastly different. The bigger question is...would it be better? For me, perhaps, living my true self would be very fulfilling in the most personal way, but the relationship I have with my wife, and of course, having my children...I can't think about not having them in my life. Very bittersweet, the thought of personal fulfillment weighed against what I have in a wonderful set of people I call my own.
Perfect world? Everything, of course. Current relationship, expanded to include me having the ability to explore my bisexuality, would be so awesome. But...not in the cards. So I trudge on, doing my thing, in secret, and hoping it doesn't blow up in my face.
So I was urged to give the gory details of my Mall of America experience. I was in MSP with a group, and the Mall was one of our stops. 3 hours of shopping. Not my bag. So, out comes the phone, and Grindr finds me several guys that must be wandering around the mall as well. After a couple of conversations, I find a potential match in a guy that wasn't in the mall, but lived nearby. Long story short, he came over to the mall with his van, which had no windows behind the seats. Seems sketchy, I know, but one head overruled the other.
A little conversation on the top floor of the ramp, and I felt comfortable enough to climb inside. Pretty vacant up there on a weekday, and found a secluded corner to park it in so we could rock it a little. Good kisser, nice dick, and we swapped some head until he was wanting to be fucked. Who am I to turn down such an offer?
He came prepared, so he lubed up while I rolled it on. Hitting him from behind is not my favorite position, but the one called for in this situation. He liked what he was getting, from the grunts and squeals he was trying to muffle. After a few minutes, I blasted into the condom, and he nutted onto the floor of the van right after. A little post-orgasmic kissing and I was needing to head out. The blast of fresh air that hit me when the door opened woke my senses, and reminded me that the funk of a well fucked ass was lingering in the van.
I guess I was a little more adventurous in my younger days...
Monday, June 6, 2016
Events, Malls, and Wandering Eyes
Just off a pretty major family event, so tired, cranky, and sick of those family members that can't seem to figure out how to be a normal human being. But all families have them, don't they?
I spent the majority of my Friday lusting after the compact little number that was in charge of setting up the venue. 5 foot 7, with shoulders about as wide. The boy hadn't missed a workout in years. Big shoulders, huge arms, and the pecs...oh, the pecs. And a nice short cropped cut on his blonde head. It didn't hurt that following setup, he went to the weight room, and there was a window that I could look in to watch while he lifted. It's like someone wanted me to have a distraction from the stress of the situation.
There's not a ton to report, as I was busy from Friday to Sunday, all day, into the wee hours of the morning. I barely had a chance to look at my phone or computer, let alone do any scouting or online lusting. When things calm down, I'll get back on that train.
I hope that I'm not too obvious with my eye. I'm naturally a people watcher, so i think I can get away with it when we're out in public. People come in all shapes and sizes (in Iowa, mostly XL to XXXL), and it's interesting to me to think about their stories, to imagine what it would be like to get naked with them. It's easy with the hot little hunks like my table and chair boy, but sometimes it hits me in the most interesting ways. Maybe a single feature, maybe the air they put out as they move, sometimes a smile or a look can get me to thinking. I'd like to say I'm a butt man, or a boob man, or a bulge guy, but it really is pretty random.
Over the last couple weeks, I can recall lusting over a female ass, the set of pecs on a man, a woman's waist, a particularly muscular and smooth calf, and I could go on. Nobody is the perfect package, but many people have features that are attractive in isolation...and are lustworthy.
And lust I do. I feel guilty sometimes about the amount of effort i put into looking around, but honestly, when walking in the mall, what am I supposed to do?
In a perfect world, I'd have a "blown in the dressing room" story for here, but alas, still waiting on that to happen. I did fuck a guy in a panel van in the Mall of America parking ramp, does that count?
I spent the majority of my Friday lusting after the compact little number that was in charge of setting up the venue. 5 foot 7, with shoulders about as wide. The boy hadn't missed a workout in years. Big shoulders, huge arms, and the pecs...oh, the pecs. And a nice short cropped cut on his blonde head. It didn't hurt that following setup, he went to the weight room, and there was a window that I could look in to watch while he lifted. It's like someone wanted me to have a distraction from the stress of the situation.
There's not a ton to report, as I was busy from Friday to Sunday, all day, into the wee hours of the morning. I barely had a chance to look at my phone or computer, let alone do any scouting or online lusting. When things calm down, I'll get back on that train.
I hope that I'm not too obvious with my eye. I'm naturally a people watcher, so i think I can get away with it when we're out in public. People come in all shapes and sizes (in Iowa, mostly XL to XXXL), and it's interesting to me to think about their stories, to imagine what it would be like to get naked with them. It's easy with the hot little hunks like my table and chair boy, but sometimes it hits me in the most interesting ways. Maybe a single feature, maybe the air they put out as they move, sometimes a smile or a look can get me to thinking. I'd like to say I'm a butt man, or a boob man, or a bulge guy, but it really is pretty random.
Over the last couple weeks, I can recall lusting over a female ass, the set of pecs on a man, a woman's waist, a particularly muscular and smooth calf, and I could go on. Nobody is the perfect package, but many people have features that are attractive in isolation...and are lustworthy.
And lust I do. I feel guilty sometimes about the amount of effort i put into looking around, but honestly, when walking in the mall, what am I supposed to do?
In a perfect world, I'd have a "blown in the dressing room" story for here, but alas, still waiting on that to happen. I did fuck a guy in a panel van in the Mall of America parking ramp, does that count?
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Scents, Memories and Balls
Short but sweet, heading into a big weekend for the family.
I'm wearing a different cologne today. Every time I smell myself, I feel like someone else is nearby, standing over my shoulder. It's more than a bit disconcerting, to be honest. How long will it take to become used to that? (Ran out of the regular stuff...)
Smells are big for me. I will walk behind someone and catch a whiff of their scent, or try to walk through a vapor trail of a particularly hot guy or girl, just to see if I can smell them. I may even turn to follow for a while if it's a good one (attached to a nice butt to watch, of course)
Of course it can go the other way too. When I'm getting with someone, I love to start with a shower. Nice clean scents, that opens up a lot of possibilities.
Every once in a while, I catch someone that reminds me of a fun time, or a good memory. A pipe smoker can bring back memories of my Grandpa. One gal that I used to work with smelled like a friend in HS. And thankfully, I like the smell of my own musk, running a finger over my balls and smelling... :)
I don't really have a story that involves smells, and honestly, don't have time to write one out today. But just wanted to check in with my 6 readers, and let everyone know I'd be back as soon as I can. And urge you to tell me a story for once...
Good Morrow, Gentle Readers.
I'm wearing a different cologne today. Every time I smell myself, I feel like someone else is nearby, standing over my shoulder. It's more than a bit disconcerting, to be honest. How long will it take to become used to that? (Ran out of the regular stuff...)
Smells are big for me. I will walk behind someone and catch a whiff of their scent, or try to walk through a vapor trail of a particularly hot guy or girl, just to see if I can smell them. I may even turn to follow for a while if it's a good one (attached to a nice butt to watch, of course)
Of course it can go the other way too. When I'm getting with someone, I love to start with a shower. Nice clean scents, that opens up a lot of possibilities.
Every once in a while, I catch someone that reminds me of a fun time, or a good memory. A pipe smoker can bring back memories of my Grandpa. One gal that I used to work with smelled like a friend in HS. And thankfully, I like the smell of my own musk, running a finger over my balls and smelling... :)
I don't really have a story that involves smells, and honestly, don't have time to write one out today. But just wanted to check in with my 6 readers, and let everyone know I'd be back as soon as I can. And urge you to tell me a story for once...
Good Morrow, Gentle Readers.
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