Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Ramping up

Long time no see, friends.

As with many things (exercise, diet, any new 'habit') I seem to tend to go all gung ho, then have trouble maintaining momentum for the long haul.  I'm refocusing on my physical health, so hopefully can make some inroads in other areas as well.

Per usual, little to no action in the wild environs of the midwest.  Some chat, some mild flirting, but nothing substantial.  I'm gearing up for my annual conference, so hopefully can find a way to satisfy some of that carnal hunger there.

A quick update on many fronts:

Media Diet - have seen quite a few movies lately, from Mamma Mia 2 (fluff, but I'm old so the music was fun) to BlacKKKlansman (disturbing but captivating and makes you sick that it happened during your lifetime).  Saw Crazy Rich Asians, Tag, Book Club, Life of the Party, Won't You Be My Neighbor (really good!!  But i grew up watching Mr. Rogers, and can appreciate the wonderful kindness and compassion that surrounded him at all times).  We've started going to a theater with recliners...super comfortable, sometimes too much and hard to stay awake.  TV/Streaming has been catching up on some shows, really liking Schitt's Creek (LOVE Catherine O'Hara) and Atypical on Netflix.

Family/Work - everyone settled into a new school year, my crunch time is over, but we implemented two new systems that are continuing to reverberate across the enterprise.  Many calls asking how to do things, why they can't see certain things, and of course, "this is the dumbest thing I've ever used".  So just add that onto the list of things to do.  My oldest finishes her masters in December, middle is gainfully employed and partially living on her own, and  youngest is in college, but living at home.  Which has its own challenges.

Naked Man Time - as previously mentioned, next to nothing happening there.  I had two instances over the summer, one with a hotel visitor (was ok, nothing spectacular, I topped him and he seemed to enjoy it..) and one with the traveling salesman (it's always good to get a dick in me, and he's a super nice guy with a nice cock).  Have hopes to improve on that record soon.  I got spoiled last year by traveling three or four times during the year, when a normal year is one or two.  I'm ok with 3 or 4. :)

How about you?  I was reminded via email that I had a blogger friend that we disconnected for a couple years.  Don't want that to happen, so comment away!

Monday, April 2, 2018

Nothing old, Something new?

As I was working on one cock at my top end, the other was filling me to capacity on the other.

Now that I have your attention...

OK, a bit sophomoric in the humor, but that does get you to read, right?

No changes on my friend's front, actually, she's pretty incognito, rightfully so, should spend time getting better and not time entertaining me at my desk. That's up to the rest of you to do.  And there's been no naked action, neither on the home front nor in the field since my last writing.

I do have a lead on a traveling salesman (so cliche, right?) that passes through my area weekly...maybe something can come of that.  Nice guy, from our chat so far, physically not exactly in my top 5, but I'm not likely in anyone's top 5 either.  But I'm working on it, I've lost over 6 pounds in a week by changing my diet from fattening shit to better food.

It appears I am the "daddy" type for some of the younger crowd, maybe need to take advantage of that.  However, that type also is unlikely to be able to have a place to themselves, so that makes things difficult as well.

I suppose I should stop whining and just do something about it, instead of whining to you guys (and girls??  Females, are you out there?) 

There's nothing earth shattering or philosophical happening here in the cold of Iowa.  Spring should arrive shortly?

Friday, March 16, 2018

Serious Abe, For Once.

Hello.  It's me.

I've (infrequently) used this forum to post about my exploits, my challenges, my desires, and sometimes my fears.  Today, it's a bit more historical and hopefully meaningful.

Being a bi married guy in small town Iowa isn't easy.  I know my gay brethren are rolling their eyes and clucking at me, and rightfully so.  But I hope that things have changed in our society to allow them to feel more open and fulfilled with their lives than 20 or 30 years ago (or more).  My challenge is from my choice, to marry and raise a family, and stick with them to see it through, while battling my own inner desires.  And while the stigma of being bisexual isn't as severe as others, and while I'm in a very accepting and supportive workplace, it's complicated by the idea that infidelity magnifies any choices I make.

I've made poor choices, and some would say continue to do so.  I've been found out by my partner, and dealt with repercussions that shook our family foundation to the core.  I've worked with multiple therapists to uncover what's really going on, and my amateur therapist wife with her own theories.  I go through long periods of self hatred and flagellation, usually following a misstep in my plan to be a good, stable, monogamous husband.

For some reason, way back in the early 2000s, I chose to share my situation with a coworker.  Something about her felt accepting, comfortable, understanding.  Why did I do this?  I can recall the exact place this happened, and still think about it as I walk through that office today.  Not necessarily the place you would pick to share something so personal.  Busy, noisy, bustling, but with enough people around that could overhear any conversations (and probably would LOVE to know more about everyone's private life).  My stomach just jumped into my throat just thinking about that conversation.

What did I get in return?  Exactly the right thing.  A caring, supportive friend that has been a sounding board and a confidant for nearly 20 years of my life.  Someone who has been there as I've struggled with my issues, to listen, to advise, to compliment the bulge in my khakis.  I'm not sure where I would be without her.  OK, probably living in an apartment turning tricks for donut money.  But that's beside the point.

As often happens, our paths diverged.  She tired of small town life, small town people pulling a Gladys Cravitz and sticking their nose through the curtains to be sure they knew who was walking up to each door in the neighborhood.  So she moved on, to the big city of Des Moines, where you can hide in plain sight.  Closer to her family, her support, her loving parents and darling niece.  Where she can visit her son after work.  I get it.  But since this is all about me...it sucks.

I miss our daily banter.  I miss being able to accidentally bump my dick into her shoulder.  Being able to make her laugh that big laugh.  But mostly I miss knowing that if I'm struggling, sad, lonely, mournful, or just need a boost, a trip to her cubicle would help me get through it.

Now she faces a challenge.  A big, fat, ugly, stupid challenge that way to many people, way to many families have to face.  And I want nothing more than to walk into that office and hug the living shit out of her.  But mostly, I want her to know how important she has been for me for most of my adult life.  And though we haven't spoken in person for, what, six months, and really had a chance to sit and talk for years, it would be the most natural thing in the world to sit down today and start right back up.

So to you, Lippzy, your sonshine, your hot mom, your daddy, and your darling niece...know that I am thinking about you, sending all the strength I can muster...and know I love you all.