Monday, November 14, 2016
Ugh
Being sick fucking sucks. Cold that settles in my chest, sinuses draining down my throat...haven't felt this shitty in a long time. Anyone have some menthol cum to help me out?
Friday, November 4, 2016
Travel, Trysts, and a Threesome
Schedules get busy, and sometimes taking the time to write things down takes a back seat to other responsibilities. Getting past the busiest time at work, settling in as the wife gets back into the swing of her job after some time off, and pausing just a bit before my own schedule ramps up again with evening activities, it's time to reflect.
I traveled this fall to Pittsburgh, a fine city that I'd never been to before. As is my usual progression, I began to scout out the local talent about a month before. And as is the usual progression, there was a lot of fun banter with the promise of "when you get to town...", and then when the arrival happens, there is no response. Sometimes I don't know why I try, since I'm always just frustrated with matching up conversationally and (supposedly) physically with a potential playmate with it only to fizzle once I actually arrive.
So, same thing this time, and I resorted to a combination of Grindr and Adam4Adam to try to line up some fun. I had early success with a nice looking businessman, solidly built with a nice cock. Was good to get naked with a guy and feel those strong arms around me, that hungry mouth on mine, the firmness of his shoulders and arms as we were furiously making out. And getting a cock in my mouth for the first time in months, I had a great start to my morning and my trip.
After that, however, it was one frustration after another. The guy who led me on, disappeared for a while, then said he couldn't meet because the fire alarm went off and he couldn't get into his apartment. The couple who always was close, but then found an excuse to pull them away just as we were making plans. The young stud who led me on, then said he could only meet if I drove out 10 miles from downtown to his place...difficult without a vehicle.
I did arrange a couple guys to come over on my last night, again, with a tinge of weirdness all around. The first one to come over was very friendly, and fun to talk to as we watched a baseball game waiting for the other to arrive. It seemed hours before he was able to get there, but he did finally show up about 10. The first guy and I were starting to go, and when we would try to involve the second, he would balk, only wanting to watch. I tried to lick his nipples..."too sensitive". Sucked on his cock for about 10 seconds, then pushed away, and the underwear went back up. But as my first buddy prepared to fuck me, it was nice to have another body to caress and brace myself against as I was impaled. He did a nice job, riding me for quite a while, pounding my ass (which needed it, been so long) until he finally pulled out and blew his load on my back.
I still hadn't gotten much attention on my cock, which is fine, and as number one dressed and left, number two found reasons to stick around. I thought, oh, he wasn't into number one, and wanted some alone time with me. Which he did, however, it was strange. Basically just wanted grind and talk dirty to me about what had happened, then he jacked himself off until he came (or at least he said he did, since nothing came out, but who am I to judge?) After he took off I went back to Grindr, to see if there was anyone in the hotel that might be willing to play. Then I hit a small jackpot...a good looking blonde guy, staying in the hotel I was in, just coming back from the bars. He wanted an anonymous blow and go scene, so I dimmed the lights, he came up and dropped to his knees just inside the door. In just a few minutes, I rewarded him with the thick creamy load I had been holding since the first night I was there. He was very appreciative, and though I would have loved to get him naked in my bed, it appeared he was just into servicing. Which worked for me at the time.
I headed home a little happier, but still longing for the time when I could have someone local to drop in and share these experiences with. Perhaps some day........
I traveled this fall to Pittsburgh, a fine city that I'd never been to before. As is my usual progression, I began to scout out the local talent about a month before. And as is the usual progression, there was a lot of fun banter with the promise of "when you get to town...", and then when the arrival happens, there is no response. Sometimes I don't know why I try, since I'm always just frustrated with matching up conversationally and (supposedly) physically with a potential playmate with it only to fizzle once I actually arrive.
So, same thing this time, and I resorted to a combination of Grindr and Adam4Adam to try to line up some fun. I had early success with a nice looking businessman, solidly built with a nice cock. Was good to get naked with a guy and feel those strong arms around me, that hungry mouth on mine, the firmness of his shoulders and arms as we were furiously making out. And getting a cock in my mouth for the first time in months, I had a great start to my morning and my trip.
After that, however, it was one frustration after another. The guy who led me on, disappeared for a while, then said he couldn't meet because the fire alarm went off and he couldn't get into his apartment. The couple who always was close, but then found an excuse to pull them away just as we were making plans. The young stud who led me on, then said he could only meet if I drove out 10 miles from downtown to his place...difficult without a vehicle.
I did arrange a couple guys to come over on my last night, again, with a tinge of weirdness all around. The first one to come over was very friendly, and fun to talk to as we watched a baseball game waiting for the other to arrive. It seemed hours before he was able to get there, but he did finally show up about 10. The first guy and I were starting to go, and when we would try to involve the second, he would balk, only wanting to watch. I tried to lick his nipples..."too sensitive". Sucked on his cock for about 10 seconds, then pushed away, and the underwear went back up. But as my first buddy prepared to fuck me, it was nice to have another body to caress and brace myself against as I was impaled. He did a nice job, riding me for quite a while, pounding my ass (which needed it, been so long) until he finally pulled out and blew his load on my back.
I still hadn't gotten much attention on my cock, which is fine, and as number one dressed and left, number two found reasons to stick around. I thought, oh, he wasn't into number one, and wanted some alone time with me. Which he did, however, it was strange. Basically just wanted grind and talk dirty to me about what had happened, then he jacked himself off until he came (or at least he said he did, since nothing came out, but who am I to judge?) After he took off I went back to Grindr, to see if there was anyone in the hotel that might be willing to play. Then I hit a small jackpot...a good looking blonde guy, staying in the hotel I was in, just coming back from the bars. He wanted an anonymous blow and go scene, so I dimmed the lights, he came up and dropped to his knees just inside the door. In just a few minutes, I rewarded him with the thick creamy load I had been holding since the first night I was there. He was very appreciative, and though I would have loved to get him naked in my bed, it appeared he was just into servicing. Which worked for me at the time.
I headed home a little happier, but still longing for the time when I could have someone local to drop in and share these experiences with. Perhaps some day........
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Phones, Privacy, and Proximity
I've been scolded for a lack of blog posts, it is the busiest time of year around the office, so hopefully you all can cut me some slack.
There are pros and cons to carrying smartphones. Of course, the list of pros could go on forever. But the cons, well, they can be heavy. We were in the car on the way home and we had a conversation where the key piece of information was in my phone. Someone had texted me a schedule and we needed to know the date. I made the mistake of pulling off the side of the road to check it...rather than just unlock and hand the phone over.
I knew it felt awkward at the time, and later that evening, we had to have "a talk". How she doesn't feel she trusts me because of that, and how it made her feel that I didn't just hand it over. I'm more guarded of my phone than she is, letting the kids, and everyone just use it as they wish. I've never been comfortable with that, and of course, i do have some things that shouldn't be seen hidden away in there. I don't keep pictures in it, but there's a couple apps that wouldn't be good to be stumbled upon. (Google Drive, you lifesaver!)
I'm sure it would have been just fine, but I just don't like people looking at stuff on my phone, makes me very uncomfortable. I don't ask to look at yours, so...
Funny thing, when we have any issues along these lines, we tend to get very hot and heavy in the sex department. It somehow brings us together more, rebuilding trust and comfort, I guess. Not complaining, just observing. We all have reasons we don't get with our partners as much as we should...fatigue, illness, attitude...and we don't take advantage of having our lover next to us as much as we should. I need to be more cognizant of that, I do enjoy our sex life, and we need to take more advantage of it, especially as our kids are starting to be away from home more.
I'm getting better about feeling confident about myself, a little Grindr lurking will knock you down a few pegs if you let it. A younger guy wanted to see more pics, i sent a couple, and then he spent 10 minutes quizzing me about how old the pics were, if I still looked the same, had I changed in any way. Basically asking if I'd gotten fatter than the pics. They were from a year and a half ago, i suppose, so not much had changed. I finally just told him I could see he had reservations, and that I was no longer 25 years old, and bodies don't stay firm and toned like they used to. Of course, that ended the conversation, and I'm sure I was blocked.
I did finally meet the guy from the next town over in person, and as many times like that go, I was disappointed. I felt misled by some things, and while he wanted to do a little more, I wasn't comfortable, and we parted ways. It's never easy, but I've evolved a bit from feeling like I was lucky to attract anyone to thinking there were many more chances out there. A bit of growth, I guess!
I have a trip coming up in October, so I do have that to look forward to...to new adventures!
Let me know how you're doing, I miss talking to you guys.
There are pros and cons to carrying smartphones. Of course, the list of pros could go on forever. But the cons, well, they can be heavy. We were in the car on the way home and we had a conversation where the key piece of information was in my phone. Someone had texted me a schedule and we needed to know the date. I made the mistake of pulling off the side of the road to check it...rather than just unlock and hand the phone over.
I knew it felt awkward at the time, and later that evening, we had to have "a talk". How she doesn't feel she trusts me because of that, and how it made her feel that I didn't just hand it over. I'm more guarded of my phone than she is, letting the kids, and everyone just use it as they wish. I've never been comfortable with that, and of course, i do have some things that shouldn't be seen hidden away in there. I don't keep pictures in it, but there's a couple apps that wouldn't be good to be stumbled upon. (Google Drive, you lifesaver!)
I'm sure it would have been just fine, but I just don't like people looking at stuff on my phone, makes me very uncomfortable. I don't ask to look at yours, so...
Funny thing, when we have any issues along these lines, we tend to get very hot and heavy in the sex department. It somehow brings us together more, rebuilding trust and comfort, I guess. Not complaining, just observing. We all have reasons we don't get with our partners as much as we should...fatigue, illness, attitude...and we don't take advantage of having our lover next to us as much as we should. I need to be more cognizant of that, I do enjoy our sex life, and we need to take more advantage of it, especially as our kids are starting to be away from home more.
I'm getting better about feeling confident about myself, a little Grindr lurking will knock you down a few pegs if you let it. A younger guy wanted to see more pics, i sent a couple, and then he spent 10 minutes quizzing me about how old the pics were, if I still looked the same, had I changed in any way. Basically asking if I'd gotten fatter than the pics. They were from a year and a half ago, i suppose, so not much had changed. I finally just told him I could see he had reservations, and that I was no longer 25 years old, and bodies don't stay firm and toned like they used to. Of course, that ended the conversation, and I'm sure I was blocked.
I did finally meet the guy from the next town over in person, and as many times like that go, I was disappointed. I felt misled by some things, and while he wanted to do a little more, I wasn't comfortable, and we parted ways. It's never easy, but I've evolved a bit from feeling like I was lucky to attract anyone to thinking there were many more chances out there. A bit of growth, I guess!
I have a trip coming up in October, so I do have that to look forward to...to new adventures!
Let me know how you're doing, I miss talking to you guys.
Monday, August 1, 2016
Busy, Busier, and Masturbation
Continuing to be a busy time around the ranch, with catching up on lawn care from my time away, to preparing for some big stuff coming up at work, I've not had much of a chance to catch my breath, let alone really let down and relax. But that will come, I hope.
The Mrs. really wants us to find some time away alone, and I think it would be a good thing. We have always put the kids first, and included them in everything we are doing, always. The last time we were away in a hotel room together? Probably 10 years ago, and of course, while we were gone our oldest had some issues with a friend's mom, so we ended up coming back early. I hope we can find some alone time, I really do like hanging out with her, we just never get a chance.
Until then, many work commitments, family things, and other activities that will keep us busy at least for the next month or so... Is it the times? I don't recall my parents having this kind of schedule. I also know that we are a lot more involved in our kids lives than most families were back in my day. I played golf in high school, and never once was anyone there to watch, cheer, or even be there for support. Now, it seems every event has at least one set of parents for each kid. It's a good thing, for the most part, but sometimes we don't even allow our kids to make their own mistakes, or jump in too quick to help save them. Nothing wrong with them squirming about something they might have done to learn that lesson.
I did meet up for a short visit with the "somewhat local", nice enough guy, but there was no physical attraction from my side. We did jack off together, but that was it. Haven't heard from him since, maybe that was the same on his end. Although he was staring my junk down pretty hard.
And so it goes, the small town search for fun, and the difficulty there. Makes a guy want to pick up and move to a big town. Or at least visit there once in a while..
I will have some free time this weekend, so I should beat the bushes a bit to see if I can drum up a little fun. Sometimes it happens at those unexpected times.
The Mrs. really wants us to find some time away alone, and I think it would be a good thing. We have always put the kids first, and included them in everything we are doing, always. The last time we were away in a hotel room together? Probably 10 years ago, and of course, while we were gone our oldest had some issues with a friend's mom, so we ended up coming back early. I hope we can find some alone time, I really do like hanging out with her, we just never get a chance.
Until then, many work commitments, family things, and other activities that will keep us busy at least for the next month or so... Is it the times? I don't recall my parents having this kind of schedule. I also know that we are a lot more involved in our kids lives than most families were back in my day. I played golf in high school, and never once was anyone there to watch, cheer, or even be there for support. Now, it seems every event has at least one set of parents for each kid. It's a good thing, for the most part, but sometimes we don't even allow our kids to make their own mistakes, or jump in too quick to help save them. Nothing wrong with them squirming about something they might have done to learn that lesson.
I did meet up for a short visit with the "somewhat local", nice enough guy, but there was no physical attraction from my side. We did jack off together, but that was it. Haven't heard from him since, maybe that was the same on his end. Although he was staring my junk down pretty hard.
And so it goes, the small town search for fun, and the difficulty there. Makes a guy want to pick up and move to a big town. Or at least visit there once in a while..
I will have some free time this weekend, so I should beat the bushes a bit to see if I can drum up a little fun. Sometimes it happens at those unexpected times.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Irritants, Individuality, and Flip Flops
I'm Back!
Nice as it is being away from the routine and drudgery of the daily grind, when you've been mostly away from it for 5 weeks, it's good to get feet back on solid ground and start back with the familiar. August is a busy time around the office, and there's plenty of work to be done in preparation. So that's where I am now...settling in for the mad rush.
I miss the familiar when I'm gone. The way my bed can lift my head up just that little bit. Knowing where the supplies are when I run out of soap or shaving cream. My chair. Being able to sit around with just my underwear on and not worry about someone walking in. And a thousand things more. The comfort of the familiar is really what I miss when I'm away from home. Which doesn't make me unique, I'm sure.
But I also enjoy my time away. As a very intelligent blogger put it, sometimes it's nice to not have to answer to anyone, and roam around Target for as much or as little as I want. You may be thinking...you are staying in a relationship and a marriage, and that's the cost of admission. And you would mostly be right. However, I'm also a believer that I am still an individual, as well as part of a couple. At my wedding, during the unity candle, we left our individual candles burning to signify that while we were united as one on the big candle, we also maintained our identities as individuals. In theory, but not so much in practice, it appears.
Whenever we spend 2 weeks together, there are irritations. Small pebbles in the flip flop of life. (Can you tell I haven't worn regular shoes for a couple weeks?) A couple steps is ok, and they usually slide out or I shake them off and move on. But occasionally, it doesn't go away. Each step is a reminder of the irritant, and it keeps going until I come to a full stop and take the shoe off and bang the rock out.
Where I'm going with my strange analogy is the irritation that can happen between two people with no space. I get along with the wife 97% of the time. But occasionally, when I feel put upon, or taken advantage of, I make it known that I'm irritated. Followed by a lecture about my behavior, and me going off and pouting about it for a while. Immature? Maybe. But it seems to take care of it.
I can't be perfect. I can't think that every time she wants a Popsicle, that it should be my responsibility to go get it. Or that because she doesn't like to talk on the phone, that I have to make every phone call, and I enjoy it. Frustrations are a part of life, and just getting it out helps me, but causes hard feelings when she witnesses it. So I watch as much as I can and try to keep it under control.
So to circle back...time away from each other recharges my batteries. And lets me be me without having to be perfect. That's why I enjoy it.
I was hoping to have a story for you all, but all my leads dried up when I was away from the group for a day. And the one hookup I've been working on from the next town over is out of state this week, bad timing since I will be home alone one night. Never know, something could pop up!
Until next time...hugs and kisses.
Nice as it is being away from the routine and drudgery of the daily grind, when you've been mostly away from it for 5 weeks, it's good to get feet back on solid ground and start back with the familiar. August is a busy time around the office, and there's plenty of work to be done in preparation. So that's where I am now...settling in for the mad rush.
I miss the familiar when I'm gone. The way my bed can lift my head up just that little bit. Knowing where the supplies are when I run out of soap or shaving cream. My chair. Being able to sit around with just my underwear on and not worry about someone walking in. And a thousand things more. The comfort of the familiar is really what I miss when I'm away from home. Which doesn't make me unique, I'm sure.
But I also enjoy my time away. As a very intelligent blogger put it, sometimes it's nice to not have to answer to anyone, and roam around Target for as much or as little as I want. You may be thinking...you are staying in a relationship and a marriage, and that's the cost of admission. And you would mostly be right. However, I'm also a believer that I am still an individual, as well as part of a couple. At my wedding, during the unity candle, we left our individual candles burning to signify that while we were united as one on the big candle, we also maintained our identities as individuals. In theory, but not so much in practice, it appears.
Whenever we spend 2 weeks together, there are irritations. Small pebbles in the flip flop of life. (Can you tell I haven't worn regular shoes for a couple weeks?) A couple steps is ok, and they usually slide out or I shake them off and move on. But occasionally, it doesn't go away. Each step is a reminder of the irritant, and it keeps going until I come to a full stop and take the shoe off and bang the rock out.
Where I'm going with my strange analogy is the irritation that can happen between two people with no space. I get along with the wife 97% of the time. But occasionally, when I feel put upon, or taken advantage of, I make it known that I'm irritated. Followed by a lecture about my behavior, and me going off and pouting about it for a while. Immature? Maybe. But it seems to take care of it.
I can't be perfect. I can't think that every time she wants a Popsicle, that it should be my responsibility to go get it. Or that because she doesn't like to talk on the phone, that I have to make every phone call, and I enjoy it. Frustrations are a part of life, and just getting it out helps me, but causes hard feelings when she witnesses it. So I watch as much as I can and try to keep it under control.
So to circle back...time away from each other recharges my batteries. And lets me be me without having to be perfect. That's why I enjoy it.
I was hoping to have a story for you all, but all my leads dried up when I was away from the group for a day. And the one hookup I've been working on from the next town over is out of state this week, bad timing since I will be home alone one night. Never know, something could pop up!
Until next time...hugs and kisses.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Zip, Zero, and Nada
Quick note as I'm away from my routine, spending some much needed time with the family and not with the officemates.
Wish I had a cool story to tell, but a few missed connections, and I'm without any new adventures for a while.
Hope you all are doing well, lovely readers, and I shall be back soon to share more thoughts!
Wish I had a cool story to tell, but a few missed connections, and I'm without any new adventures for a while.
Hope you all are doing well, lovely readers, and I shall be back soon to share more thoughts!
Friday, July 8, 2016
Anxiety, Extroversion, and Local Play
Heading north.
We will be away for a couple weeks, doing some work on the family business. I hope to view and post periodically, but have limited access to the web (how many 78 year old widows have internet? More than you'd think, i bet...)
I used to have a little more free time during this excursion, but times have changed, and responsibilities have grown. Not sure how I got to be in charge of so many things. I guess I want to see things succeed. I do a lot of work for our hometown movie theater, with little to no compensation. I jump in and help with committees. I announce the occasional high school ball game. It feels good to be active, to participate. And honestly, when I'm home with nothing to do for a while (a short while is great...) I get a little stir crazy and want to do something. Go to a ball game, catch a movie, hit the links...
And there's a catch. My wife is very introverted, and has some anxiety issues. So while she would rather be in our house with our kids almost all the time, I would rather be out doing stuff. So there's a bit of conflict at times when she feels like I'm always gone, and she's alone all the time. It's a strange dynamic, she doesn't want to go out and do things, but doesn't want to be home alone. I do worry about our empty nest years, when her desire to keep me home with conflict with my desire to be active.
She also doesn't want a big group of friends, but her phone is constantly going off with text messages. I rarely get a text except from our family. My "friend group" consists of my coworkers (mostly women, and have their own friends), and husbands of my wife's friends. I miss having some friends to do things with.
I wonder if some of my hangups with guys goes back to the bi thing. Although I seem to get along with guys, it's taking that next step. I have a bit of anxiety about such things as well, i think, putting myself out there is hard...
I think I'm an extroverted introvert. That's a thing, right?
On the play front, I'm trying hard to connect with a local from the next town over, but our schedules haven't meshed yet. And he has some connections to some additional playmates, i believe. So it's a relationship worth cultivating. :) Maybe even getting his wife involved?!?!? That's a new one there.
And how's your day?
We will be away for a couple weeks, doing some work on the family business. I hope to view and post periodically, but have limited access to the web (how many 78 year old widows have internet? More than you'd think, i bet...)
I used to have a little more free time during this excursion, but times have changed, and responsibilities have grown. Not sure how I got to be in charge of so many things. I guess I want to see things succeed. I do a lot of work for our hometown movie theater, with little to no compensation. I jump in and help with committees. I announce the occasional high school ball game. It feels good to be active, to participate. And honestly, when I'm home with nothing to do for a while (a short while is great...) I get a little stir crazy and want to do something. Go to a ball game, catch a movie, hit the links...
And there's a catch. My wife is very introverted, and has some anxiety issues. So while she would rather be in our house with our kids almost all the time, I would rather be out doing stuff. So there's a bit of conflict at times when she feels like I'm always gone, and she's alone all the time. It's a strange dynamic, she doesn't want to go out and do things, but doesn't want to be home alone. I do worry about our empty nest years, when her desire to keep me home with conflict with my desire to be active.
She also doesn't want a big group of friends, but her phone is constantly going off with text messages. I rarely get a text except from our family. My "friend group" consists of my coworkers (mostly women, and have their own friends), and husbands of my wife's friends. I miss having some friends to do things with.
I wonder if some of my hangups with guys goes back to the bi thing. Although I seem to get along with guys, it's taking that next step. I have a bit of anxiety about such things as well, i think, putting myself out there is hard...
I think I'm an extroverted introvert. That's a thing, right?
On the play front, I'm trying hard to connect with a local from the next town over, but our schedules haven't meshed yet. And he has some connections to some additional playmates, i believe. So it's a relationship worth cultivating. :) Maybe even getting his wife involved?!?!? That's a new one there.
And how's your day?
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Trips, Time Off, and Weight Journeys
I'm back, for now. The business travel led directly into a vacation, and a holiday weekend. And I have work this week, then a couple more off. So it's strange, I've always felt guilty being away from work, and while there is a little of that, for the most part I'm enjoying it. So maybe I'm turning over a new leaf in my old age!
I did have a recently found connection asking me when I'd be back, wanting to hook up. So that's a positive, right? :) Somebody awaiting my return! It's only a moderate stretch of the truth, since my family does like having me around. So much so that I can't drive the half hour home from work without a phone call asking where I am, how long I will be. I realize that it's her insecurities that can't just let me drive in a car without checking in on me, but it does get a little tedious. A typical 3 hour drive has at least 4 or 5 phone calls wondering where I am, how soon I'll get there...
We also had a stressful drive back home with car troubles, but we all handled it better than I suspected. It's difficult to sit on the side of an interstate for an hour and a half waiting for assistance, so the fact that nobody freaked out or started getting upset was a win! And it ends up that our car trouble also made us aware of another situation with our daughter's car, so it's good to get them all fixed up and running well. Expensive, but good.
I did get a good look at myself in a few pictures from vacation, so the diet has started today. She is more into having plans and structure, where I just want to cut back and eat better. So, of course, we have planned meals, planned exercise, and an online diary to be sure we're doing it right. Day 2, and I realize how much diet pop and sugar I was eating. I'm crashing a bit from the lack of simple sugar and caffeine. But that should pass quickly. And I dropped 3 pounds on day one. I need to get in a better place with my body (above the waist...my lower half is good as always. :)
I don't have a recent story to tell, maybe I can figure something out this week? I know you're all waiting for my graphic descriptions. How about you? Any recent fun to brag about?
I did have a recently found connection asking me when I'd be back, wanting to hook up. So that's a positive, right? :) Somebody awaiting my return! It's only a moderate stretch of the truth, since my family does like having me around. So much so that I can't drive the half hour home from work without a phone call asking where I am, how long I will be. I realize that it's her insecurities that can't just let me drive in a car without checking in on me, but it does get a little tedious. A typical 3 hour drive has at least 4 or 5 phone calls wondering where I am, how soon I'll get there...
We also had a stressful drive back home with car troubles, but we all handled it better than I suspected. It's difficult to sit on the side of an interstate for an hour and a half waiting for assistance, so the fact that nobody freaked out or started getting upset was a win! And it ends up that our car trouble also made us aware of another situation with our daughter's car, so it's good to get them all fixed up and running well. Expensive, but good.
I did get a good look at myself in a few pictures from vacation, so the diet has started today. She is more into having plans and structure, where I just want to cut back and eat better. So, of course, we have planned meals, planned exercise, and an online diary to be sure we're doing it right. Day 2, and I realize how much diet pop and sugar I was eating. I'm crashing a bit from the lack of simple sugar and caffeine. But that should pass quickly. And I dropped 3 pounds on day one. I need to get in a better place with my body (above the waist...my lower half is good as always. :)
I don't have a recent story to tell, maybe I can figure something out this week? I know you're all waiting for my graphic descriptions. How about you? Any recent fun to brag about?
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Hotness, Ass, and Insecurities
Every once in a while, you catch a break. Or you think you did, and then in retrospect, your insecurities jump up and slap you.
In my hotel room, had been messaging with a guy about my impending trip. The pics looked good, and he seemed genuinely interested. About 9 in the evening, with a thunderstorm approaching, he makes his way over to the hotel. That's commitment, there...
He comes in the room, and, oh, lordy...6 foot 4, broad shouldered, nice mop of black hair, handsome with a nice set of teeth (details are a funny thing, aren't they?). He had barely gotten in the room, gave a quick hi, and he was undressing. Little did I know that was the last talk I'd hear from him until he was walking out the door...
Tanned body, shaved all over, i could go on and on about what a physical specimen this guy was. Things started out well, we made out - love that - ran hands all over each other. We made it to the bed, he laid back and I climbed on top, again, making out, licking his neck, ears, nipples, moving back up, and down, he even tasted good!
He enjoyed playing with my nipples. I do enjoy that, so was glad to have some action. Gave him some head, sucked those smooth balls, up, down and all around. He seemed to enjoy my fingers, so I found myself rimming him. I don't do that often, but damned if the guy didn't taste so good! I finally got some moans out of him, so i dug in for the long haul. I tongued that hole...and licked...and sucked...he enjoyed it, and I did too. I rubbed my cock head all around it, but with no protection, didn't push in. Restraint, right?
I worked a finger in, and went back to his cock. Felt it get bitter and bigger in my mouth, a little bucking of the hips, and a nudge of his prostate, and he was blowing in my mouth. Not a huge load, but enough that I could handle it.
He exited to the bathroom and cleaned up, came back in the room and said "You wanna get off?". I declined, one in hopes that i could find another playmate later, and also because it felt obvious that he wasn't usually a giver. Which leads me to the insecurities...
Why can't I just let myself enjoy this? A hot guy shows up in my room, we make out, lick, suck, and enjoy, and I still think "why didn't he go down on me? Was I unattractive to him? Just good enough to blow him but not good enough for him? Why didn't he talk?" I told him how hot he was...nothing in return. He barely spoke.
So I just need to let that go. I had a hot time, and if he knocked on the door again, I'd lay him back and do it all over again. So, I need to stop being a baby, and just enjoy what life brings!
Do your insecurities get the best of you???
In my hotel room, had been messaging with a guy about my impending trip. The pics looked good, and he seemed genuinely interested. About 9 in the evening, with a thunderstorm approaching, he makes his way over to the hotel. That's commitment, there...
He comes in the room, and, oh, lordy...6 foot 4, broad shouldered, nice mop of black hair, handsome with a nice set of teeth (details are a funny thing, aren't they?). He had barely gotten in the room, gave a quick hi, and he was undressing. Little did I know that was the last talk I'd hear from him until he was walking out the door...
Tanned body, shaved all over, i could go on and on about what a physical specimen this guy was. Things started out well, we made out - love that - ran hands all over each other. We made it to the bed, he laid back and I climbed on top, again, making out, licking his neck, ears, nipples, moving back up, and down, he even tasted good!
He enjoyed playing with my nipples. I do enjoy that, so was glad to have some action. Gave him some head, sucked those smooth balls, up, down and all around. He seemed to enjoy my fingers, so I found myself rimming him. I don't do that often, but damned if the guy didn't taste so good! I finally got some moans out of him, so i dug in for the long haul. I tongued that hole...and licked...and sucked...he enjoyed it, and I did too. I rubbed my cock head all around it, but with no protection, didn't push in. Restraint, right?
I worked a finger in, and went back to his cock. Felt it get bitter and bigger in my mouth, a little bucking of the hips, and a nudge of his prostate, and he was blowing in my mouth. Not a huge load, but enough that I could handle it.
He exited to the bathroom and cleaned up, came back in the room and said "You wanna get off?". I declined, one in hopes that i could find another playmate later, and also because it felt obvious that he wasn't usually a giver. Which leads me to the insecurities...
Why can't I just let myself enjoy this? A hot guy shows up in my room, we make out, lick, suck, and enjoy, and I still think "why didn't he go down on me? Was I unattractive to him? Just good enough to blow him but not good enough for him? Why didn't he talk?" I told him how hot he was...nothing in return. He barely spoke.
So I just need to let that go. I had a hot time, and if he knocked on the door again, I'd lay him back and do it all over again. So, I need to stop being a baby, and just enjoy what life brings!
Do your insecurities get the best of you???
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Couples, Fantasies, and Awesome Chicks
I've been married 25 years. I have experimented...ok, not so much an experiment as I do know what I'm doing...with men along the way. I have only had two instances where i was naked with another woman during that time. Once, as part of a three way with a married couple, and once with a woman who I share all these things with, and is an awesome chick. She won't do me again, since I'm married, and attributes her weakness to a "slut phase". A guy will take what he can get, right?
I mean, a bisexual guy should want to be with both, right? Well, not necessarily, a common misconception is that a bisexual will sleep with anyone anytime. Not true. And it's been my take on my bi thing that I have my woman, and don't really look for anyone to fill that need, we do just fine, thanks.
Well, lately, I've been floating the idea in my head more. It's long been a fantasy to get with a couple, and even though it's happened once, I'd like to maybe do it again. But I'm struggling both with this idea, and with how I would make it happen. I toyed around a little bit on a swingers site, seeing if there was anybody around that would work. Some nibbles, a few conversations, but nothing that really has panned out.
Perhaps it's my sign that it's not meant to be. And likely it will pass from my brain, only to pop up in a few months or a couple years. But because it causes me such angst, maybe I should just let it go.
Are there fantasies that you long to try out? Does your brain try to override your dick so as not to have them happen? Or do you let them ride? I suppose my situation is different from most of my readers, but I'd love to hear.
Don't have much of a story for today, still recovering from last weekend...sigh...I know you're jealous. :)
I mean, a bisexual guy should want to be with both, right? Well, not necessarily, a common misconception is that a bisexual will sleep with anyone anytime. Not true. And it's been my take on my bi thing that I have my woman, and don't really look for anyone to fill that need, we do just fine, thanks.
Well, lately, I've been floating the idea in my head more. It's long been a fantasy to get with a couple, and even though it's happened once, I'd like to maybe do it again. But I'm struggling both with this idea, and with how I would make it happen. I toyed around a little bit on a swingers site, seeing if there was anybody around that would work. Some nibbles, a few conversations, but nothing that really has panned out.
Perhaps it's my sign that it's not meant to be. And likely it will pass from my brain, only to pop up in a few months or a couple years. But because it causes me such angst, maybe I should just let it go.
Are there fantasies that you long to try out? Does your brain try to override your dick so as not to have them happen? Or do you let them ride? I suppose my situation is different from most of my readers, but I'd love to hear.
Don't have much of a story for today, still recovering from last weekend...sigh...I know you're jealous. :)
Monday, June 13, 2016
Free time, booty calls, and BBC
**Post #10! Should there be bells, whistles and balloons dropping?? Still, all milestones are important.**
A weekend of errands and odd jobs, helping out others, I do enjoy staying busy. My wife would like a little less, but it makes me a little crazy to sit home too often. It's too hot here to be out in the yard, and you can only watch so many episodes of American Pickers before it's time to do something...
I ran up to the inlaws to check in on the house, do some yard work, and other assorted chores. The good news for me was that gave me some time alone...more on that later. Caring for our aging parents is becoming more and more the norm, and I get not wanting to leave your house, with the comfort and familiarity. I talked with my dad (who's 90) this week, and he said he's ready to move out, to find something smaller and get away from upkeep and yard work. He (rightfully so) says he can't keep up with the yard, the small repairs, and other things that come with home ownership. He wants to move to the retirement duplex complex across town from my job. It would be great to have them here, but mom (at 78) isn't ready to leave yet.
We dread the day that we will have to clean out our respective parents homes, my folks don't have a lot of stuff, so shouldn't be too bad, but my inlaws have a house packed with things, grew up with nothing, so have taken the opportunity to buy things when no kids were around. I don't want to be a burden on my kids, and hope to not saddle them with a lot of work when I'm gone.
Wow, this took a morbid turn. Maybe it's the recent birthday, but thinking a little more about edging toward retirement and beyond. I need to get my mind wrapped around this...
As mentioned before, when I drive to the inlaws, I pass a couple of our metropolitan areas here (not that it's anything like a big city, but as big as Iowa has to offer, i guess). If I know i have a little flexibility with time, I sometimes place and ad on CL, or take a look at what's out there. I did a little pre-planning, and put an ad online about mid week. I usually include a cock shot, I have a portrait I'm enamored with, of my very photogenic wang standing tall and proud. It usually elicits a few responses, but normally not much that turns my head.
This time, I got a response from a guy who claimed to be not far off the interstate (he wasn't), and wanted me to "blow him, and if it went well, I could sit on it". Wow, the romance was dripping from this one. But, my intense state of horniness and the picture he replied with made it at least worth a conversation. A big ol' dick, nicely thick, got my mouth to watering. So I replied, and a cryptic conversation ensued, asking about available times, locations, etc. He wasn't going to be free on my trip up, but should be on the way home. So tentative plans were made for me to stop by on Saturday.
After lunch Saturday, I headed down the road, and messaged that I was leaving, should be in his area in a little over an hour. Got a quick "OK" a few minutes later, then a note that said he was going out for lunch. As I approached, I sent another quick note, and a reply came quickly with directions to the house. I wound around through a residential area to a set of townhomes. Not a bad area, the townhouse was a little rough looking from the outside, but things seemed OK. I approached the door, and it was opened as I walked up the steps. I was greeted by a smiling face and an introduction, and an invitation in.
The inside of the place was nice, in a generic, white paint and beige carpet sort of way. I was offered water (declined, had some in the car on the way) then led upstairs to the spare room. The guy was super thin, weighed maybe 130 on a 6 foot frame. As we undressed, I was able to see that the picture wasn't a lie, a thick slab of meat hanging down, which was made to look huge by the thinness of his body.
He was completely shaved, explaining that he had never done that before, but just wanted to try it, with the hot weather, etc. I was glad to see it, love feeling skin on skin, and it made licking around so much easier. As I worked it over, it became thicker and harder, and topped out at a nice solid 8 inches. He was appreciative, telling me how well I was doing, and giving me the obligatorily "you love sucking that big black cock, don't you?". And he wasn't wrong.
He then swiveled around and worked on mine a little, saying he'd "never done that before". Whether or not it was true, it was nice to have some attention my way as well. Eventually I wanted to feel it in my ass, so he got things ready, and I started by climbing on top and sitting down on it, controlling the depth and speed while I got used to the invasion.
After a minute, I was bottomed out (see what I did there??) and started to work it over. His impatience showed, and he soon rolled me off and onto my stomach, added a little more lube, and started drilling me. Oh, I do love to feel cock sliding in and out of me. Stifling moans because of the neighbors on each side, he continued to drill me, getting me up on my hands and knees, then pulling me to the edge of the bed so he could stand and fuck, and finally flipping me onto my back, and pushing my knees to my chest. He was really able to attack my prostrate at this angle, and I felt it on each stroke, nudging it as his balls slapped my ass.
He probably worked me over for 10 minutes or so, then laid on the bed, pulled off the condom, and finished the job by hand while I licked his balls. He was very appreciative, and kind in bringing me supplies to clean up with. I did enjoy it, and hope to make another stop next time I'm traveling alone.
It does lead me to a couple questions...I work in a very race sensitive environment, very open and accepting, and feel like I want to judge not based on ethnicity but on character. That being said, he continued to talk about his "big black cock"...wasn't lying..., how my white ass looked with a big black dick in it, there were just remarks through the whole thing about race. I didn't mind, honestly, my eyes were closed most of the time, so I wasn't really aware of race, just bodies.
I didn't feel uncomfortable in hearing it, but did not feel comfortable making any remarks like "feed me that big black cock, make my white ass beg for it", etc. I do find black men attractive, and enjoy the dick that's attached, but don't' really want to go there. Is this a pretty common theme? Are interracial hookups usually met with talk like this? Or am I weird in that I like it, but don't want to verbalize? With Iowa at 96% or so Caucasian, it's not something I run into all that often. As always, appreciate your thoughts.
A weekend of errands and odd jobs, helping out others, I do enjoy staying busy. My wife would like a little less, but it makes me a little crazy to sit home too often. It's too hot here to be out in the yard, and you can only watch so many episodes of American Pickers before it's time to do something...
I ran up to the inlaws to check in on the house, do some yard work, and other assorted chores. The good news for me was that gave me some time alone...more on that later. Caring for our aging parents is becoming more and more the norm, and I get not wanting to leave your house, with the comfort and familiarity. I talked with my dad (who's 90) this week, and he said he's ready to move out, to find something smaller and get away from upkeep and yard work. He (rightfully so) says he can't keep up with the yard, the small repairs, and other things that come with home ownership. He wants to move to the retirement duplex complex across town from my job. It would be great to have them here, but mom (at 78) isn't ready to leave yet.
We dread the day that we will have to clean out our respective parents homes, my folks don't have a lot of stuff, so shouldn't be too bad, but my inlaws have a house packed with things, grew up with nothing, so have taken the opportunity to buy things when no kids were around. I don't want to be a burden on my kids, and hope to not saddle them with a lot of work when I'm gone.
Wow, this took a morbid turn. Maybe it's the recent birthday, but thinking a little more about edging toward retirement and beyond. I need to get my mind wrapped around this...
As mentioned before, when I drive to the inlaws, I pass a couple of our metropolitan areas here (not that it's anything like a big city, but as big as Iowa has to offer, i guess). If I know i have a little flexibility with time, I sometimes place and ad on CL, or take a look at what's out there. I did a little pre-planning, and put an ad online about mid week. I usually include a cock shot, I have a portrait I'm enamored with, of my very photogenic wang standing tall and proud. It usually elicits a few responses, but normally not much that turns my head.
This time, I got a response from a guy who claimed to be not far off the interstate (he wasn't), and wanted me to "blow him, and if it went well, I could sit on it". Wow, the romance was dripping from this one. But, my intense state of horniness and the picture he replied with made it at least worth a conversation. A big ol' dick, nicely thick, got my mouth to watering. So I replied, and a cryptic conversation ensued, asking about available times, locations, etc. He wasn't going to be free on my trip up, but should be on the way home. So tentative plans were made for me to stop by on Saturday.
After lunch Saturday, I headed down the road, and messaged that I was leaving, should be in his area in a little over an hour. Got a quick "OK" a few minutes later, then a note that said he was going out for lunch. As I approached, I sent another quick note, and a reply came quickly with directions to the house. I wound around through a residential area to a set of townhomes. Not a bad area, the townhouse was a little rough looking from the outside, but things seemed OK. I approached the door, and it was opened as I walked up the steps. I was greeted by a smiling face and an introduction, and an invitation in.
The inside of the place was nice, in a generic, white paint and beige carpet sort of way. I was offered water (declined, had some in the car on the way) then led upstairs to the spare room. The guy was super thin, weighed maybe 130 on a 6 foot frame. As we undressed, I was able to see that the picture wasn't a lie, a thick slab of meat hanging down, which was made to look huge by the thinness of his body.
He was completely shaved, explaining that he had never done that before, but just wanted to try it, with the hot weather, etc. I was glad to see it, love feeling skin on skin, and it made licking around so much easier. As I worked it over, it became thicker and harder, and topped out at a nice solid 8 inches. He was appreciative, telling me how well I was doing, and giving me the obligatorily "you love sucking that big black cock, don't you?". And he wasn't wrong.
He then swiveled around and worked on mine a little, saying he'd "never done that before". Whether or not it was true, it was nice to have some attention my way as well. Eventually I wanted to feel it in my ass, so he got things ready, and I started by climbing on top and sitting down on it, controlling the depth and speed while I got used to the invasion.
After a minute, I was bottomed out (see what I did there??) and started to work it over. His impatience showed, and he soon rolled me off and onto my stomach, added a little more lube, and started drilling me. Oh, I do love to feel cock sliding in and out of me. Stifling moans because of the neighbors on each side, he continued to drill me, getting me up on my hands and knees, then pulling me to the edge of the bed so he could stand and fuck, and finally flipping me onto my back, and pushing my knees to my chest. He was really able to attack my prostrate at this angle, and I felt it on each stroke, nudging it as his balls slapped my ass.
He probably worked me over for 10 minutes or so, then laid on the bed, pulled off the condom, and finished the job by hand while I licked his balls. He was very appreciative, and kind in bringing me supplies to clean up with. I did enjoy it, and hope to make another stop next time I'm traveling alone.
It does lead me to a couple questions...I work in a very race sensitive environment, very open and accepting, and feel like I want to judge not based on ethnicity but on character. That being said, he continued to talk about his "big black cock"...wasn't lying..., how my white ass looked with a big black dick in it, there were just remarks through the whole thing about race. I didn't mind, honestly, my eyes were closed most of the time, so I wasn't really aware of race, just bodies.
I didn't feel uncomfortable in hearing it, but did not feel comfortable making any remarks like "feed me that big black cock, make my white ass beg for it", etc. I do find black men attractive, and enjoy the dick that's attached, but don't' really want to go there. Is this a pretty common theme? Are interracial hookups usually met with talk like this? Or am I weird in that I like it, but don't want to verbalize? With Iowa at 96% or so Caucasian, it's not something I run into all that often. As always, appreciate your thoughts.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Brain vs. Body, Workout Buddies, and Muscles
As I age, I'm fully aware of the effect that the years have on a body. Joints creak, muscles fade, extra padding accumulates in way too many areas. I struggle with the battle between knowing that some of this is a part of the process, and being just vain enough that it bothers me. The extra weight I'm currently carrying, the grey sneaking in (ok, it really isn't sneaking, more barging through the door with a bunch of friends) to my hair, the hair sprouting from my eyebrows, ears and back...I guess the outward signs of aging bother me more than the knowledge that it's happening.
I feel youthful and vibrant in my brain. My body sometimes doesn't get that message, and tires out easily or doesn't react very quickly to what I want it to do. But I learn more and more what all the older people told me all along...I don't "feel" over 50. My brain doesn't realize it, save for the experiences and knowledge that it holds that is SO much greater than when I was 20, 30, or even 40. So I have to figure out how my "young" brain can comprehend this aging body.
The self-analyst in me wonders if that's part of my lust for youth. I don't get to do it often, but to hook up with a young, nubile, thin to muscular younger man, or a very fit mid 30s bodybuilder (that only happened once, but it was SOOO hot), I can't stop desiring to look, smell, taste, and feel that body next to mine. Run my hands along a thin waist, feel some definition in the shoulders and back, grab onto that nice tight ass...is it me reliving my youth, when things were more where they were supposed to be? Or is is more simple, an appreciation for the male form, and enjoying what it has to offer?
What I'm finding is how difficult it is once you're out of shape, to get back to where you should be. After I recover from our big family event, I'm going to get going. Treadmill, jogging and walking, hoping for a few weights (I'm smart enough to know that's what helps burn the fat) and while I haven't been over indulging, watching more closely what goes into my mouth. Maybe I need my friend BlkJack (http://blkjack-blkjack.blogspot.com/) to come whip my slightly flabby ass into shape. Motivation and a workout buddy would do wonders for me. Any local takers?
In reference to the note above...and I know you're wanting to hear that story...I was on one of my Chicago business trips. As usual, perusing the A4A, Manhunt, and Craigslist. I don't recall if I placed an ad this time, or if I answered another. Regardless, I found myself talking to a mid-30s guy, who claimed to be very muscular and fit. I've been burned often enough to not get my hopes up for that, but he was engaging enough, and we clicked with what we were looking for, so the invitation was offered to come to my hotel on Michigan.
We made arrangements to meet in the lobby at 10pm. At 10:15, I had sent a quick note and was figuring it was yet another time that I was set up as part of a game. (I never understand that game, how someone can get off on leading a guy on, then not showing. But that's a story for another post.) I did get a response, something something running late, so with nothing better to do, I waited. Another email, another running late response, sorry, will be there soon.
At about 10:45, he did arrive. And, holy shit, he was as advertised. 6 foot 1 inch of worked out, tanned muscle. Big, wide smile, short cropped black hair, and well dressed, making me feel self conscious in my Hawkeye baggy shorts and old t-shirt. No problem, though, and after exchanging a couple pleasantries, we headed up to my room.
We wasted no time in getting out of the clothes, me staring at him the whole time, taking in the beauty of that body. And if it wasn't unfair enough, a nice thick 8" slab of meat looking up at me. He was confident without being overconfident, cocky without the annoyance of bragging. He knew he was hot, and for some reason, was crawling into bed with me.
What stuck me, as we were talking, making out, and feeling the magnificent musculature he possessed, I asked him why. Why, when it appeared he could have so many younger, more fit, and better looking guys than me, did he come here? He said he loved the "beefy Iowa farm boys", that we were so much fun in bed...
Well, that certainly changed some of my perceptions. About attraction, stereotypes, and more. But mostly, it challenged me to live up to the hype. So I devoured his cock hungrily, chewed his nipples with fervor, licked up and down each and every one of those abs. He returned the favor (minus the fluff covered abs), and readied me to be fucked. Ass up on a pillow, he crawled on top of me, and gently eased his dick into me as he kissed me deeply. God, I love kissing, and especially while I have a cock in me. Slowly at first, knowing I had to adjust, then harder he pumped, and this time I took it as a compliment that within a couple minutes, he was emptying his balls. I wanted it to last longer, but it was so hot...it was incredible.
And, too add even more to the mix, he rolled off and laid by me, arm across my chest, and we talked. For a half hour or so, discussing his travels across I-80, his love of small towns (hey, I live in one!), and my experiences in the big city. No better end to a fervent fuck than to decompress with a great conversation. It was one of the better hook up experiences I've had.
As most hook ups go, thought, he soon disappeared into the dim light of the hallway, never to be heard from again. I long to duplicate that experience, and probably, that's what drives me to keep looking. How many bad ones can I endure between the greats? Hopefully I'll find enough good ones to never know the answer.
I feel youthful and vibrant in my brain. My body sometimes doesn't get that message, and tires out easily or doesn't react very quickly to what I want it to do. But I learn more and more what all the older people told me all along...I don't "feel" over 50. My brain doesn't realize it, save for the experiences and knowledge that it holds that is SO much greater than when I was 20, 30, or even 40. So I have to figure out how my "young" brain can comprehend this aging body.
The self-analyst in me wonders if that's part of my lust for youth. I don't get to do it often, but to hook up with a young, nubile, thin to muscular younger man, or a very fit mid 30s bodybuilder (that only happened once, but it was SOOO hot), I can't stop desiring to look, smell, taste, and feel that body next to mine. Run my hands along a thin waist, feel some definition in the shoulders and back, grab onto that nice tight ass...is it me reliving my youth, when things were more where they were supposed to be? Or is is more simple, an appreciation for the male form, and enjoying what it has to offer?
What I'm finding is how difficult it is once you're out of shape, to get back to where you should be. After I recover from our big family event, I'm going to get going. Treadmill, jogging and walking, hoping for a few weights (I'm smart enough to know that's what helps burn the fat) and while I haven't been over indulging, watching more closely what goes into my mouth. Maybe I need my friend BlkJack (http://blkjack-blkjack.blogspot.com/) to come whip my slightly flabby ass into shape. Motivation and a workout buddy would do wonders for me. Any local takers?
In reference to the note above...and I know you're wanting to hear that story...I was on one of my Chicago business trips. As usual, perusing the A4A, Manhunt, and Craigslist. I don't recall if I placed an ad this time, or if I answered another. Regardless, I found myself talking to a mid-30s guy, who claimed to be very muscular and fit. I've been burned often enough to not get my hopes up for that, but he was engaging enough, and we clicked with what we were looking for, so the invitation was offered to come to my hotel on Michigan.
We made arrangements to meet in the lobby at 10pm. At 10:15, I had sent a quick note and was figuring it was yet another time that I was set up as part of a game. (I never understand that game, how someone can get off on leading a guy on, then not showing. But that's a story for another post.) I did get a response, something something running late, so with nothing better to do, I waited. Another email, another running late response, sorry, will be there soon.
At about 10:45, he did arrive. And, holy shit, he was as advertised. 6 foot 1 inch of worked out, tanned muscle. Big, wide smile, short cropped black hair, and well dressed, making me feel self conscious in my Hawkeye baggy shorts and old t-shirt. No problem, though, and after exchanging a couple pleasantries, we headed up to my room.
We wasted no time in getting out of the clothes, me staring at him the whole time, taking in the beauty of that body. And if it wasn't unfair enough, a nice thick 8" slab of meat looking up at me. He was confident without being overconfident, cocky without the annoyance of bragging. He knew he was hot, and for some reason, was crawling into bed with me.
What stuck me, as we were talking, making out, and feeling the magnificent musculature he possessed, I asked him why. Why, when it appeared he could have so many younger, more fit, and better looking guys than me, did he come here? He said he loved the "beefy Iowa farm boys", that we were so much fun in bed...
Well, that certainly changed some of my perceptions. About attraction, stereotypes, and more. But mostly, it challenged me to live up to the hype. So I devoured his cock hungrily, chewed his nipples with fervor, licked up and down each and every one of those abs. He returned the favor (minus the fluff covered abs), and readied me to be fucked. Ass up on a pillow, he crawled on top of me, and gently eased his dick into me as he kissed me deeply. God, I love kissing, and especially while I have a cock in me. Slowly at first, knowing I had to adjust, then harder he pumped, and this time I took it as a compliment that within a couple minutes, he was emptying his balls. I wanted it to last longer, but it was so hot...it was incredible.
And, too add even more to the mix, he rolled off and laid by me, arm across my chest, and we talked. For a half hour or so, discussing his travels across I-80, his love of small towns (hey, I live in one!), and my experiences in the big city. No better end to a fervent fuck than to decompress with a great conversation. It was one of the better hook up experiences I've had.
As most hook ups go, thought, he soon disappeared into the dim light of the hallway, never to be heard from again. I long to duplicate that experience, and probably, that's what drives me to keep looking. How many bad ones can I endure between the greats? Hopefully I'll find enough good ones to never know the answer.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Technology, Longing, and Funk
Sometimes I just sit and wonder in amazement the way technology has influenced our lives. How would I have been different if I had access to all this when I was younger? What decisions would I have made if I had access to online hookup sites and more anonymous ways to explore my sexuality? An interesting hypothetical, but we can't change the past...
I love what it's done for us, though, from medicine to entertainment, information distribution and decision making to interpersonal communication. It's so ingrained in everything I do now, it's difficult to imagine doing things without it. When I was my kids age, you could use the credit card on the machine that made the cha-chunk noise, and imprinted it on to paper. Now you can touch your phone to a receptor and money transfers automatically. So amazing, incredible, and scary.
It's helpful, of course, in finding potential playmates, and GPS technology lets me know that there's a guy on Grindr within 38 feet of me at this time. And although I know this, and know him, it does give communication possibilities that don't impede on my private life, and of course, lets him reject me in a very impersonal and efficient way. (Not many 22 year olds are shopping for old guys like me...but I'm finding some are! :)
I feel very selfish thinking about it, because it brings up the "if I knew then what I know now" scenarios, and my life would likely be vastly different. The bigger question is...would it be better? For me, perhaps, living my true self would be very fulfilling in the most personal way, but the relationship I have with my wife, and of course, having my children...I can't think about not having them in my life. Very bittersweet, the thought of personal fulfillment weighed against what I have in a wonderful set of people I call my own.
Perfect world? Everything, of course. Current relationship, expanded to include me having the ability to explore my bisexuality, would be so awesome. But...not in the cards. So I trudge on, doing my thing, in secret, and hoping it doesn't blow up in my face.
So I was urged to give the gory details of my Mall of America experience. I was in MSP with a group, and the Mall was one of our stops. 3 hours of shopping. Not my bag. So, out comes the phone, and Grindr finds me several guys that must be wandering around the mall as well. After a couple of conversations, I find a potential match in a guy that wasn't in the mall, but lived nearby. Long story short, he came over to the mall with his van, which had no windows behind the seats. Seems sketchy, I know, but one head overruled the other.
A little conversation on the top floor of the ramp, and I felt comfortable enough to climb inside. Pretty vacant up there on a weekday, and found a secluded corner to park it in so we could rock it a little. Good kisser, nice dick, and we swapped some head until he was wanting to be fucked. Who am I to turn down such an offer?
He came prepared, so he lubed up while I rolled it on. Hitting him from behind is not my favorite position, but the one called for in this situation. He liked what he was getting, from the grunts and squeals he was trying to muffle. After a few minutes, I blasted into the condom, and he nutted onto the floor of the van right after. A little post-orgasmic kissing and I was needing to head out. The blast of fresh air that hit me when the door opened woke my senses, and reminded me that the funk of a well fucked ass was lingering in the van.
I guess I was a little more adventurous in my younger days...
I love what it's done for us, though, from medicine to entertainment, information distribution and decision making to interpersonal communication. It's so ingrained in everything I do now, it's difficult to imagine doing things without it. When I was my kids age, you could use the credit card on the machine that made the cha-chunk noise, and imprinted it on to paper. Now you can touch your phone to a receptor and money transfers automatically. So amazing, incredible, and scary.
It's helpful, of course, in finding potential playmates, and GPS technology lets me know that there's a guy on Grindr within 38 feet of me at this time. And although I know this, and know him, it does give communication possibilities that don't impede on my private life, and of course, lets him reject me in a very impersonal and efficient way. (Not many 22 year olds are shopping for old guys like me...but I'm finding some are! :)
I feel very selfish thinking about it, because it brings up the "if I knew then what I know now" scenarios, and my life would likely be vastly different. The bigger question is...would it be better? For me, perhaps, living my true self would be very fulfilling in the most personal way, but the relationship I have with my wife, and of course, having my children...I can't think about not having them in my life. Very bittersweet, the thought of personal fulfillment weighed against what I have in a wonderful set of people I call my own.
Perfect world? Everything, of course. Current relationship, expanded to include me having the ability to explore my bisexuality, would be so awesome. But...not in the cards. So I trudge on, doing my thing, in secret, and hoping it doesn't blow up in my face.
So I was urged to give the gory details of my Mall of America experience. I was in MSP with a group, and the Mall was one of our stops. 3 hours of shopping. Not my bag. So, out comes the phone, and Grindr finds me several guys that must be wandering around the mall as well. After a couple of conversations, I find a potential match in a guy that wasn't in the mall, but lived nearby. Long story short, he came over to the mall with his van, which had no windows behind the seats. Seems sketchy, I know, but one head overruled the other.
A little conversation on the top floor of the ramp, and I felt comfortable enough to climb inside. Pretty vacant up there on a weekday, and found a secluded corner to park it in so we could rock it a little. Good kisser, nice dick, and we swapped some head until he was wanting to be fucked. Who am I to turn down such an offer?
He came prepared, so he lubed up while I rolled it on. Hitting him from behind is not my favorite position, but the one called for in this situation. He liked what he was getting, from the grunts and squeals he was trying to muffle. After a few minutes, I blasted into the condom, and he nutted onto the floor of the van right after. A little post-orgasmic kissing and I was needing to head out. The blast of fresh air that hit me when the door opened woke my senses, and reminded me that the funk of a well fucked ass was lingering in the van.
I guess I was a little more adventurous in my younger days...
Monday, June 6, 2016
Events, Malls, and Wandering Eyes
Just off a pretty major family event, so tired, cranky, and sick of those family members that can't seem to figure out how to be a normal human being. But all families have them, don't they?
I spent the majority of my Friday lusting after the compact little number that was in charge of setting up the venue. 5 foot 7, with shoulders about as wide. The boy hadn't missed a workout in years. Big shoulders, huge arms, and the pecs...oh, the pecs. And a nice short cropped cut on his blonde head. It didn't hurt that following setup, he went to the weight room, and there was a window that I could look in to watch while he lifted. It's like someone wanted me to have a distraction from the stress of the situation.
There's not a ton to report, as I was busy from Friday to Sunday, all day, into the wee hours of the morning. I barely had a chance to look at my phone or computer, let alone do any scouting or online lusting. When things calm down, I'll get back on that train.
I hope that I'm not too obvious with my eye. I'm naturally a people watcher, so i think I can get away with it when we're out in public. People come in all shapes and sizes (in Iowa, mostly XL to XXXL), and it's interesting to me to think about their stories, to imagine what it would be like to get naked with them. It's easy with the hot little hunks like my table and chair boy, but sometimes it hits me in the most interesting ways. Maybe a single feature, maybe the air they put out as they move, sometimes a smile or a look can get me to thinking. I'd like to say I'm a butt man, or a boob man, or a bulge guy, but it really is pretty random.
Over the last couple weeks, I can recall lusting over a female ass, the set of pecs on a man, a woman's waist, a particularly muscular and smooth calf, and I could go on. Nobody is the perfect package, but many people have features that are attractive in isolation...and are lustworthy.
And lust I do. I feel guilty sometimes about the amount of effort i put into looking around, but honestly, when walking in the mall, what am I supposed to do?
In a perfect world, I'd have a "blown in the dressing room" story for here, but alas, still waiting on that to happen. I did fuck a guy in a panel van in the Mall of America parking ramp, does that count?
I spent the majority of my Friday lusting after the compact little number that was in charge of setting up the venue. 5 foot 7, with shoulders about as wide. The boy hadn't missed a workout in years. Big shoulders, huge arms, and the pecs...oh, the pecs. And a nice short cropped cut on his blonde head. It didn't hurt that following setup, he went to the weight room, and there was a window that I could look in to watch while he lifted. It's like someone wanted me to have a distraction from the stress of the situation.
There's not a ton to report, as I was busy from Friday to Sunday, all day, into the wee hours of the morning. I barely had a chance to look at my phone or computer, let alone do any scouting or online lusting. When things calm down, I'll get back on that train.
I hope that I'm not too obvious with my eye. I'm naturally a people watcher, so i think I can get away with it when we're out in public. People come in all shapes and sizes (in Iowa, mostly XL to XXXL), and it's interesting to me to think about their stories, to imagine what it would be like to get naked with them. It's easy with the hot little hunks like my table and chair boy, but sometimes it hits me in the most interesting ways. Maybe a single feature, maybe the air they put out as they move, sometimes a smile or a look can get me to thinking. I'd like to say I'm a butt man, or a boob man, or a bulge guy, but it really is pretty random.
Over the last couple weeks, I can recall lusting over a female ass, the set of pecs on a man, a woman's waist, a particularly muscular and smooth calf, and I could go on. Nobody is the perfect package, but many people have features that are attractive in isolation...and are lustworthy.
And lust I do. I feel guilty sometimes about the amount of effort i put into looking around, but honestly, when walking in the mall, what am I supposed to do?
In a perfect world, I'd have a "blown in the dressing room" story for here, but alas, still waiting on that to happen. I did fuck a guy in a panel van in the Mall of America parking ramp, does that count?
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Scents, Memories and Balls
Short but sweet, heading into a big weekend for the family.
I'm wearing a different cologne today. Every time I smell myself, I feel like someone else is nearby, standing over my shoulder. It's more than a bit disconcerting, to be honest. How long will it take to become used to that? (Ran out of the regular stuff...)
Smells are big for me. I will walk behind someone and catch a whiff of their scent, or try to walk through a vapor trail of a particularly hot guy or girl, just to see if I can smell them. I may even turn to follow for a while if it's a good one (attached to a nice butt to watch, of course)
Of course it can go the other way too. When I'm getting with someone, I love to start with a shower. Nice clean scents, that opens up a lot of possibilities.
Every once in a while, I catch someone that reminds me of a fun time, or a good memory. A pipe smoker can bring back memories of my Grandpa. One gal that I used to work with smelled like a friend in HS. And thankfully, I like the smell of my own musk, running a finger over my balls and smelling... :)
I don't really have a story that involves smells, and honestly, don't have time to write one out today. But just wanted to check in with my 6 readers, and let everyone know I'd be back as soon as I can. And urge you to tell me a story for once...
Good Morrow, Gentle Readers.
I'm wearing a different cologne today. Every time I smell myself, I feel like someone else is nearby, standing over my shoulder. It's more than a bit disconcerting, to be honest. How long will it take to become used to that? (Ran out of the regular stuff...)
Smells are big for me. I will walk behind someone and catch a whiff of their scent, or try to walk through a vapor trail of a particularly hot guy or girl, just to see if I can smell them. I may even turn to follow for a while if it's a good one (attached to a nice butt to watch, of course)
Of course it can go the other way too. When I'm getting with someone, I love to start with a shower. Nice clean scents, that opens up a lot of possibilities.
Every once in a while, I catch someone that reminds me of a fun time, or a good memory. A pipe smoker can bring back memories of my Grandpa. One gal that I used to work with smelled like a friend in HS. And thankfully, I like the smell of my own musk, running a finger over my balls and smelling... :)
I don't really have a story that involves smells, and honestly, don't have time to write one out today. But just wanted to check in with my 6 readers, and let everyone know I'd be back as soon as I can. And urge you to tell me a story for once...
Good Morrow, Gentle Readers.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Chunky, Aging and THICK
What is wrong with me?
Maybe that should have been in all caps, with extra question marks and exclamation points, but the message should be clear. I'll be put on public display in less than a week, and for the past two months, I can't stop eating. I've always bordered on heavier than I wanted to be, and I've tipped over the edge lately. Clothes are a little tighter, getting winded more easily...I have gotten to the point where I disgust myself more than just a bit.
You might not be able to tell, but as a younger guy, I was pretty athletic. Good hand eye coordination, understood the game enough to be in the right place at the right time. Rebounded better than I should have. And I played for quite a long time, pick up games over lunch, etc. But as with most of us aging athletes, my joints decided it was better to not do such strenuous things. My downfall was my Achilles. Got tendonitis, could play, but then barely walk for two days, then play again, vicious cycle. Another lost opportunity for sneaking a peek at dicks and butts. Well, that had gone by the wayside when they redid the locker room with stall showers. I mean really...who needs them?
But now, I enjoy food, and rest, more than a semi-athletic build. So I need to get back on the wagon. A busy schedule doesn't help, the new job made it much more difficult to get away, and my motivation needs a boost. I hope that summer can help with that. I need to be in better shape when I referee ball games.
On the food side, I can't seem to get full. I could snack all day if I let myself. The control needs to come back, and with it, I'll move in the right direction. It certainly doesn't help to land the hotties when you're not feeling good about yourself.
(You guys told me it was therapeutic...so no complaining when I get whiny!)
Do I have a story for today? Ok, a small one.
My first "threesome" involved my HS buddy, and another neighbor. A bunch of 16 year olds messing around in the basement of my house, naked, sucking some dick. What could go wrong, huh? Well, Mom came home early, and headed down to get something out of the freezer. We were less than quiet while scrambling around looking for clothes, and she came into the back room to see what was up.
Imagine, me naked with a hardon, crouching behind a chair, my one buddy beside a dresser in the corner...the other one had done a dive under the bed. Mom turned and left the room, hollering that I needed to come up and see her...NOW.
I suppose I was lucky. She didn't see the one under the bed, so she just assumed it was me and my regular bud, doing some exploring. We talked about right and wrong (according to her), and how, while that's natural, she doesn't want me doing it. She assumed it was jerking each other off. Little did she know...and how would she have freaked out if she knew there were three of us sucking each other off!
By the way, although I didn't get to play all that often with my third neighbor, he was a sight to behold. Loved to lift weights, blonde, nearly hairless, and a not too long, but nice thick cock. Knowing now what I wish i knew then, I would love to get back with him and ride that dick to stretch my ass a bit. Ah, memories...
Maybe that should have been in all caps, with extra question marks and exclamation points, but the message should be clear. I'll be put on public display in less than a week, and for the past two months, I can't stop eating. I've always bordered on heavier than I wanted to be, and I've tipped over the edge lately. Clothes are a little tighter, getting winded more easily...I have gotten to the point where I disgust myself more than just a bit.
You might not be able to tell, but as a younger guy, I was pretty athletic. Good hand eye coordination, understood the game enough to be in the right place at the right time. Rebounded better than I should have. And I played for quite a long time, pick up games over lunch, etc. But as with most of us aging athletes, my joints decided it was better to not do such strenuous things. My downfall was my Achilles. Got tendonitis, could play, but then barely walk for two days, then play again, vicious cycle. Another lost opportunity for sneaking a peek at dicks and butts. Well, that had gone by the wayside when they redid the locker room with stall showers. I mean really...who needs them?
But now, I enjoy food, and rest, more than a semi-athletic build. So I need to get back on the wagon. A busy schedule doesn't help, the new job made it much more difficult to get away, and my motivation needs a boost. I hope that summer can help with that. I need to be in better shape when I referee ball games.
On the food side, I can't seem to get full. I could snack all day if I let myself. The control needs to come back, and with it, I'll move in the right direction. It certainly doesn't help to land the hotties when you're not feeling good about yourself.
(You guys told me it was therapeutic...so no complaining when I get whiny!)
Do I have a story for today? Ok, a small one.
My first "threesome" involved my HS buddy, and another neighbor. A bunch of 16 year olds messing around in the basement of my house, naked, sucking some dick. What could go wrong, huh? Well, Mom came home early, and headed down to get something out of the freezer. We were less than quiet while scrambling around looking for clothes, and she came into the back room to see what was up.
Imagine, me naked with a hardon, crouching behind a chair, my one buddy beside a dresser in the corner...the other one had done a dive under the bed. Mom turned and left the room, hollering that I needed to come up and see her...NOW.
I suppose I was lucky. She didn't see the one under the bed, so she just assumed it was me and my regular bud, doing some exploring. We talked about right and wrong (according to her), and how, while that's natural, she doesn't want me doing it. She assumed it was jerking each other off. Little did she know...and how would she have freaked out if she knew there were three of us sucking each other off!
By the way, although I didn't get to play all that often with my third neighbor, he was a sight to behold. Loved to lift weights, blonde, nearly hairless, and a not too long, but nice thick cock. Knowing now what I wish i knew then, I would love to get back with him and ride that dick to stretch my ass a bit. Ah, memories...
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Disappointment, Early Arrivals, and Farm Equipment
I feel like sometimes I disappoint. I suppose it's related to the self esteem issue that I battle, but there's a touch of perfectionism, a little bit of not measuring up, and probably just a lot of nothing when I feel this way. I did get to stop and visit a guy on the road Friday, a visitor in a hotel room...an ideal setup. And me, having not gotten any at home, had a big load (that's a positive) that blasted out way too early (that's the negative). He was nice, enjoyed playing a bit with my load, and it didn't seem to bother him. But it bothered me.
When I get to stop and play, I want to make the most of it. And a 5 minute roll around wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. So I disappointed myself that I wasn't able to take full advantage of the time I had. Is this a common thing, being hard on yourself for performance? It's probably a little bit that way, but also people aren't likely to share this info when talking about their conquests. Why wouldn't you brag about your prowess, how you fucked him til he couldn't walk, when you have the chance?
I suppose that's why I lean a little more to the bottom side lately, it certainly takes the pressure off from that perspective. And who doesn't want a big dick bottom?
My first time on the bottom was, as I'm sure it is for most people, a difficult, somewhat painful experience. I had chatted up a guy on gay.com (wow, how long ago was this??) chat room, and he was staying in a hotel in downtown Des Moines. I was going to have some free time while in town, and we made arrangements for me to stop over. He was a nice looking guy, farm type, skinny, reddish brown hair, here for a farm equipment meeting (cliche, huh?) We made out a bit, and he made it clear he wanted to fuck me. I'd only had one dick in me before that, and while it was not an accident, it didn't last for me. It was before I understood the immense value of warming up and lube.
This guy was good, patient, and took plenty of breaks as we worked toward him getting into my ass. The time was well spent, as once I got used to the invader, I enjoyed the feeling of fullness. I was glad he was on the thinner side of cocks, made things easier. So being face down and getting drilled, albeit relatively gently and carefully, was something that I found out I enjoyed, and would like to try again. Regardless of what those sexy stories online tell us about a first time, going in dry, taking a huge one, I would imagine that would be a bit much for all but the most sadistic bottoms.
When I get to stop and play, I want to make the most of it. And a 5 minute roll around wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. So I disappointed myself that I wasn't able to take full advantage of the time I had. Is this a common thing, being hard on yourself for performance? It's probably a little bit that way, but also people aren't likely to share this info when talking about their conquests. Why wouldn't you brag about your prowess, how you fucked him til he couldn't walk, when you have the chance?
I suppose that's why I lean a little more to the bottom side lately, it certainly takes the pressure off from that perspective. And who doesn't want a big dick bottom?
My first time on the bottom was, as I'm sure it is for most people, a difficult, somewhat painful experience. I had chatted up a guy on gay.com (wow, how long ago was this??) chat room, and he was staying in a hotel in downtown Des Moines. I was going to have some free time while in town, and we made arrangements for me to stop over. He was a nice looking guy, farm type, skinny, reddish brown hair, here for a farm equipment meeting (cliche, huh?) We made out a bit, and he made it clear he wanted to fuck me. I'd only had one dick in me before that, and while it was not an accident, it didn't last for me. It was before I understood the immense value of warming up and lube.
This guy was good, patient, and took plenty of breaks as we worked toward him getting into my ass. The time was well spent, as once I got used to the invader, I enjoyed the feeling of fullness. I was glad he was on the thinner side of cocks, made things easier. So being face down and getting drilled, albeit relatively gently and carefully, was something that I found out I enjoyed, and would like to try again. Regardless of what those sexy stories online tell us about a first time, going in dry, taking a huge one, I would imagine that would be a bit much for all but the most sadistic bottoms.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Drive bys and Self Esteem
I only work a half day today, many errands to run as we prepare for our big event. I'm transporting my mother in law today, so will have some windshield time to sit, think, and listen to my favorite podcasts. Driving has always been something I enjoy, I suppose it's the fact that motion sickness takes over if I am stuck in the back seat and can't see the road. I blame my father, who couldn't even go out on a boat without feeling nauseated. Plus, I like being in control (foreshadowing, perhaps? doubtful.)
When I drive any distance I like to see if I can find a quick stop somewhere and scrounge up a little fun. This path takes me past a couple of major metro areas, so opportunity is sometimes there. It's a crapshoot, and many times I get my hopes up and then it doesn't work out. Why am I disappointed when that's the outcome?
I've struggled with low self esteem my entire life. I was a sensitive kid, bullied a bit through school (nothing physical, just name calling and social shunning), didn't have any girls interested in me until halfway through my senior year, and never fucked one until i was 19. Never really though I measured up, was not willing to risk going up to a girl and being rejected. I'm told that I have nice equipment - by guys, I've never had a girl tell me I had a big dick, or was a good lay. I suppose if I would have had some positive feedback from the female side of things, it would have helped me feel better about things.
It's funny. By and large, I'm a very confident person at work, at home, out in public (I referee basketball and know I do a good job, don't take any crap there). But I'm filled with insecurities when it comes to acceptance and rejection of me as a potential partner. Does it all go back to my lack of success as a young person? Why do I care what other people think of me, especially randoms on a Grindr or A4A? I need to get over myself in that area.
On my travels, I've run into guys who are really into my whole "Daddy" vibe, I suppose in the bigger cities there's much more opportunity for people with specific wants and needs to find each other. I still occasionally communicate with one of my former hookups from Chicago, wishing we could find a way to get back together. Hot HOT younger guy, who was really into me. I could get used to that attention. And you would think that would help with my insecurities. It probably does, if I allow it.
OK, so I've begun to tell my story, with a hopefully related sex story at the end. So, here goes.
I was in Chicago for a conference. I came to this particular one each year, with mixed success in the hookup area. Too many missed connections. This time, I placed a craigslist ad, and hoped for the best. I actually was searching for a MW couple, thinking that would be totally awesome and fun. I think that's true for me, but I still haven't made it happen. C answered the ad, said he had a girlfriend that might be interested and he was bi-friendly. We communicated, did a little dirty talk and fantasized, and arranged to connect when I got to town.
Needless to say, I was worked up by the time I arrived. Dropped him a quick note, he was working, but arranged to meet me after work at a restaurant/bar a few blocks from my hotel. I texted him, and he said he'd meet me out front. I waited, but didn't see him. I suppose we should have given descriptions to each other besides "6-2, 210, brown hair".
I text again, and he said he was with a group, but had told them he was meeting a friend. He'd be right out to get me. Now, in all the talk, he'd really never described himself all that much. So when a tall good looking black man waved me over, I was stunned. If I looked like that, I'd tell and show everyone! We quick hugged, and headed in to the bar.
He was with a group of 5 or 6 others, and we had a nice time, a couple drinks, and many hidden text messages back and forth. I still was having a hard time believing this stud would be interested in me. (See above...)
I did have meetings in the morning, so a little after 10, I begged out of the gathering, and C offered to give me a ride back to the hotel. Being a good visitor, I invited him up to the room for the marvelous view of the river and downtown. Once in the room, this magnificent beast took me in his arms and kissed me hard and deep. We spent a nice amount of time pressed against each other on the bed, kissing and touching each other.
I don't remember whose or what articles of clothing came off first, but once it began, it wasn't long until we were completely naked, and I was blowing him as best I knew how. A 69 followed, with hands, lips and tongues all over each other. By this time, I wanted him in me so bad, and he was more than up for the challenge.
After eating my ass like it was his last meal, he slid into me, and we were finally connected. Sometimes I would be hard pressed to remember any details about a hookup. This one, however, I have such vivid memories of. The softness of his skin, the taste of his lips. The feel of his ass flexing as i pulled him deeper into me. The fullness I felt, and the emptiness when he pulled out and sprayed my chest with his cum. All of these sensations are still with me after years.
I cannot wait to figure out how to hook up with him again.
When I drive any distance I like to see if I can find a quick stop somewhere and scrounge up a little fun. This path takes me past a couple of major metro areas, so opportunity is sometimes there. It's a crapshoot, and many times I get my hopes up and then it doesn't work out. Why am I disappointed when that's the outcome?
I've struggled with low self esteem my entire life. I was a sensitive kid, bullied a bit through school (nothing physical, just name calling and social shunning), didn't have any girls interested in me until halfway through my senior year, and never fucked one until i was 19. Never really though I measured up, was not willing to risk going up to a girl and being rejected. I'm told that I have nice equipment - by guys, I've never had a girl tell me I had a big dick, or was a good lay. I suppose if I would have had some positive feedback from the female side of things, it would have helped me feel better about things.
It's funny. By and large, I'm a very confident person at work, at home, out in public (I referee basketball and know I do a good job, don't take any crap there). But I'm filled with insecurities when it comes to acceptance and rejection of me as a potential partner. Does it all go back to my lack of success as a young person? Why do I care what other people think of me, especially randoms on a Grindr or A4A? I need to get over myself in that area.
On my travels, I've run into guys who are really into my whole "Daddy" vibe, I suppose in the bigger cities there's much more opportunity for people with specific wants and needs to find each other. I still occasionally communicate with one of my former hookups from Chicago, wishing we could find a way to get back together. Hot HOT younger guy, who was really into me. I could get used to that attention. And you would think that would help with my insecurities. It probably does, if I allow it.
OK, so I've begun to tell my story, with a hopefully related sex story at the end. So, here goes.
I was in Chicago for a conference. I came to this particular one each year, with mixed success in the hookup area. Too many missed connections. This time, I placed a craigslist ad, and hoped for the best. I actually was searching for a MW couple, thinking that would be totally awesome and fun. I think that's true for me, but I still haven't made it happen. C answered the ad, said he had a girlfriend that might be interested and he was bi-friendly. We communicated, did a little dirty talk and fantasized, and arranged to connect when I got to town.
Needless to say, I was worked up by the time I arrived. Dropped him a quick note, he was working, but arranged to meet me after work at a restaurant/bar a few blocks from my hotel. I texted him, and he said he'd meet me out front. I waited, but didn't see him. I suppose we should have given descriptions to each other besides "6-2, 210, brown hair".
I text again, and he said he was with a group, but had told them he was meeting a friend. He'd be right out to get me. Now, in all the talk, he'd really never described himself all that much. So when a tall good looking black man waved me over, I was stunned. If I looked like that, I'd tell and show everyone! We quick hugged, and headed in to the bar.
He was with a group of 5 or 6 others, and we had a nice time, a couple drinks, and many hidden text messages back and forth. I still was having a hard time believing this stud would be interested in me. (See above...)
I did have meetings in the morning, so a little after 10, I begged out of the gathering, and C offered to give me a ride back to the hotel. Being a good visitor, I invited him up to the room for the marvelous view of the river and downtown. Once in the room, this magnificent beast took me in his arms and kissed me hard and deep. We spent a nice amount of time pressed against each other on the bed, kissing and touching each other.
I don't remember whose or what articles of clothing came off first, but once it began, it wasn't long until we were completely naked, and I was blowing him as best I knew how. A 69 followed, with hands, lips and tongues all over each other. By this time, I wanted him in me so bad, and he was more than up for the challenge.
After eating my ass like it was his last meal, he slid into me, and we were finally connected. Sometimes I would be hard pressed to remember any details about a hookup. This one, however, I have such vivid memories of. The softness of his skin, the taste of his lips. The feel of his ass flexing as i pulled him deeper into me. The fullness I felt, and the emptiness when he pulled out and sprayed my chest with his cum. All of these sensations are still with me after years.
I cannot wait to figure out how to hook up with him again.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Celebrations, Friends, and Head
Just had a celebration at work, and a big one coming up at our house. Too often we don't celebrate our accomplishments, or milestones, or just making it through a rough patch. I know for me it is one of those things, I don't care to celebrate my birthday, or want a big fuss about Father's Day, but do want to be sure others are recognized for their accomplishments.
I suppose it's being a people pleaser, wanting to be sure everyone gets along and feels good about themselves. But at the same time, it's also something I struggle with, as once in a while I'd like some of my own. We aren't big on parties at home, for mom and dad. We are big on making the kids feel special. So when I turned 50 (i know, right? old...) I had this hope in the back of my head someone would do a little something for me. We went out for supper, but we do that a couple times a week anyway. So no surprise party, no black balloons, and I was in an environment at work that wasn't conducive to celebrating. My new department would do a lot better with that, should have moved earlier.
Another complicating factor would be that I don't have very many close friends. We are a pretty tight group at home, and don't get out much, have very few friends as couples, our neighborhood folks pretty much keep to themselves. I miss having a close friend or two that i could do things with. I always wanted a golfing buddy, it just never happened. Now, if i could have a golfing buddy with benefits...sign up below, I guess. Interviews will be held in a couple weeks.
Oh, I guess I'm supposed to talk about my sexual endeavors on here as well...I guess I should start at the beginning?
I was introduced to blowjobs by the gay neighbor boy at a sleepover. We were in adjoining sleeping bags, and since i was a horny 15 year old, I was accepting to whatever happened. I don't recall all that many details, but I do recall having to sneak past my folks to the bathroom to clean up the mess that was made on my stomach. He and I remained BJ buddies through my graduation from High School. I miss having that kind of a friend, both with and without our dicks in each others mouths.
I suppose that was my first experience, how about you? A friend, neighbor, ?? How did you explore when you were first starting out?
I suppose it's being a people pleaser, wanting to be sure everyone gets along and feels good about themselves. But at the same time, it's also something I struggle with, as once in a while I'd like some of my own. We aren't big on parties at home, for mom and dad. We are big on making the kids feel special. So when I turned 50 (i know, right? old...) I had this hope in the back of my head someone would do a little something for me. We went out for supper, but we do that a couple times a week anyway. So no surprise party, no black balloons, and I was in an environment at work that wasn't conducive to celebrating. My new department would do a lot better with that, should have moved earlier.
Another complicating factor would be that I don't have very many close friends. We are a pretty tight group at home, and don't get out much, have very few friends as couples, our neighborhood folks pretty much keep to themselves. I miss having a close friend or two that i could do things with. I always wanted a golfing buddy, it just never happened. Now, if i could have a golfing buddy with benefits...sign up below, I guess. Interviews will be held in a couple weeks.
Oh, I guess I'm supposed to talk about my sexual endeavors on here as well...I guess I should start at the beginning?
I was introduced to blowjobs by the gay neighbor boy at a sleepover. We were in adjoining sleeping bags, and since i was a horny 15 year old, I was accepting to whatever happened. I don't recall all that many details, but I do recall having to sneak past my folks to the bathroom to clean up the mess that was made on my stomach. He and I remained BJ buddies through my graduation from High School. I miss having that kind of a friend, both with and without our dicks in each others mouths.
I suppose that was my first experience, how about you? A friend, neighbor, ?? How did you explore when you were first starting out?
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Intro
I'm inspired by my new friend to dip a toe into the blogging world. Will it be good for me? Cathartic? A place to brag? Maybe all the above. But I've always been told writing is good to get things out, so this is my somewhat futile attempt to do just that.
So, as means of an introduction, it just sounds like a cliche from an old Penthouse Forum letter. "I am a married man in a small midwestern town, and I never thought something like this would happen to me..."
When you grow up in a town of 1500 people, you really do think that anything outside that 2.5 kids, picket fence and a dog life is sort of unthinkable. And even when you spend some time fucking around with the neighbor boys in high school and learning the finer points of fellatio, you head off to college, looking for what you think is the right thing.
I remember seeing a classmate leaning into a car to kiss his boyfriend after he was dropped off at class, and thinking how brave that was of him (this was the mid 80's) to do that right in a parking lot. I never thought, like many of my peers, that anything was out of the ordinary with it, so maybe that was my clue. But my relationships were always with a girl, since that was the socially acceptable thing in my group of former high school athletes that I hung out with.
I purchased dirty magazines, not Playboy, but Penthouse for the bisexual/gay stories, and Hustler because they actually showed dicks. I studied those pictures, thought about the body parts, so different, but both so attractive. I longed to explore each one. In these pre-internet days, that was it. Longing, dreaming, but not acting.
Then I was a teacher in another small town nearby. How would it look if...? was always running through my brain. Always worried about others perceptions, and rightfully so, as teachers are held to much higher standards than the church going community (who were drinking, drugging, and screwing around on each other the whole time.)
I married, had kids, built a house, a life. She's great. Absolutely love her fully. But even that couldn't keep me from wondering. Wondering led to exploring (hello, world wide web!). Exploring led to acting on it. And finding out that I still did enjoy being with another guy. And learning more about what I liked outside of the missionary position and occasional 69 of my marriage bed.
So, hence the title of the blog. I am constantly walking the fine line between what she wants me to do, and what I want to do. I've stumbled, and fallen. Gotten back up. Done the right thing for a while. Stumbled again. And now here I am. On the tightrope again.
So, as means of an introduction, it just sounds like a cliche from an old Penthouse Forum letter. "I am a married man in a small midwestern town, and I never thought something like this would happen to me..."
When you grow up in a town of 1500 people, you really do think that anything outside that 2.5 kids, picket fence and a dog life is sort of unthinkable. And even when you spend some time fucking around with the neighbor boys in high school and learning the finer points of fellatio, you head off to college, looking for what you think is the right thing.
I remember seeing a classmate leaning into a car to kiss his boyfriend after he was dropped off at class, and thinking how brave that was of him (this was the mid 80's) to do that right in a parking lot. I never thought, like many of my peers, that anything was out of the ordinary with it, so maybe that was my clue. But my relationships were always with a girl, since that was the socially acceptable thing in my group of former high school athletes that I hung out with.
I purchased dirty magazines, not Playboy, but Penthouse for the bisexual/gay stories, and Hustler because they actually showed dicks. I studied those pictures, thought about the body parts, so different, but both so attractive. I longed to explore each one. In these pre-internet days, that was it. Longing, dreaming, but not acting.
Then I was a teacher in another small town nearby. How would it look if...? was always running through my brain. Always worried about others perceptions, and rightfully so, as teachers are held to much higher standards than the church going community (who were drinking, drugging, and screwing around on each other the whole time.)
I married, had kids, built a house, a life. She's great. Absolutely love her fully. But even that couldn't keep me from wondering. Wondering led to exploring (hello, world wide web!). Exploring led to acting on it. And finding out that I still did enjoy being with another guy. And learning more about what I liked outside of the missionary position and occasional 69 of my marriage bed.
So, hence the title of the blog. I am constantly walking the fine line between what she wants me to do, and what I want to do. I've stumbled, and fallen. Gotten back up. Done the right thing for a while. Stumbled again. And now here I am. On the tightrope again.
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