Anxiety, Extroversion, and Local Play

Heading north.

We will be away for a couple weeks, doing some work on the family business.  I hope to view and post periodically, but have limited access to the web (how many 78 year old widows have internet?  More than you'd think, i bet...)

I used to have a little more free time during this excursion, but times have changed, and responsibilities have grown.  Not sure how I got to be in charge of so many things.  I guess I want to see things succeed.  I do a lot of work for our hometown movie theater, with little to no compensation.  I jump in and help with committees.  I announce the occasional high school ball game.  It feels good to be active, to participate.  And honestly, when I'm home with nothing to do for a while (a short while is great...) I get a little stir crazy and want to do something.  Go to a ball game, catch a movie, hit the links... 

And there's a catch.  My wife is very introverted, and has some anxiety issues.  So while she would rather be in our house with our kids almost all the time, I would rather be out doing stuff.  So there's a bit of conflict at times when she feels like I'm always gone, and she's alone all the time.  It's a strange dynamic, she doesn't want to go out and do things, but doesn't want to be home alone.  I do worry about our empty nest years, when her desire to keep me home with conflict with my desire to be active. 

She also doesn't want a big group of friends, but her phone is constantly going off with text messages.  I rarely get a text except from our family.  My "friend group" consists of my coworkers (mostly women, and have their own friends), and husbands of my wife's friends.  I miss having some friends to do things with.

I wonder if some of my hangups with guys goes back to the bi thing.  Although I seem to get along with guys, it's taking that next step.  I have a bit of anxiety about such things as well, i think, putting myself out there is hard...

I think I'm an extroverted introvert.  That's a thing, right?

On the play front, I'm trying hard to connect with a local from the next town over, but our schedules haven't meshed yet.  And he has some connections to some additional playmates, i believe.  So it's a relationship worth cultivating. :)  Maybe even getting his wife involved?!?!? That's a new one there.

And how's your day?