Monday, April 2, 2018

Nothing old, Something new?

As I was working on one cock at my top end, the other was filling me to capacity on the other.

Now that I have your attention...

OK, a bit sophomoric in the humor, but that does get you to read, right?

No changes on my friend's front, actually, she's pretty incognito, rightfully so, should spend time getting better and not time entertaining me at my desk. That's up to the rest of you to do.  And there's been no naked action, neither on the home front nor in the field since my last writing.

I do have a lead on a traveling salesman (so cliche, right?) that passes through my area weekly...maybe something can come of that.  Nice guy, from our chat so far, physically not exactly in my top 5, but I'm not likely in anyone's top 5 either.  But I'm working on it, I've lost over 6 pounds in a week by changing my diet from fattening shit to better food.

It appears I am the "daddy" type for some of the younger crowd, maybe need to take advantage of that.  However, that type also is unlikely to be able to have a place to themselves, so that makes things difficult as well.

I suppose I should stop whining and just do something about it, instead of whining to you guys (and girls??  Females, are you out there?) 

There's nothing earth shattering or philosophical happening here in the cold of Iowa.  Spring should arrive shortly?

Friday, March 16, 2018

Serious Abe, For Once.

Hello.  It's me.

I've (infrequently) used this forum to post about my exploits, my challenges, my desires, and sometimes my fears.  Today, it's a bit more historical and hopefully meaningful.

Being a bi married guy in small town Iowa isn't easy.  I know my gay brethren are rolling their eyes and clucking at me, and rightfully so.  But I hope that things have changed in our society to allow them to feel more open and fulfilled with their lives than 20 or 30 years ago (or more).  My challenge is from my choice, to marry and raise a family, and stick with them to see it through, while battling my own inner desires.  And while the stigma of being bisexual isn't as severe as others, and while I'm in a very accepting and supportive workplace, it's complicated by the idea that infidelity magnifies any choices I make.

I've made poor choices, and some would say continue to do so.  I've been found out by my partner, and dealt with repercussions that shook our family foundation to the core.  I've worked with multiple therapists to uncover what's really going on, and my amateur therapist wife with her own theories.  I go through long periods of self hatred and flagellation, usually following a misstep in my plan to be a good, stable, monogamous husband.

For some reason, way back in the early 2000s, I chose to share my situation with a coworker.  Something about her felt accepting, comfortable, understanding.  Why did I do this?  I can recall the exact place this happened, and still think about it as I walk through that office today.  Not necessarily the place you would pick to share something so personal.  Busy, noisy, bustling, but with enough people around that could overhear any conversations (and probably would LOVE to know more about everyone's private life).  My stomach just jumped into my throat just thinking about that conversation.

What did I get in return?  Exactly the right thing.  A caring, supportive friend that has been a sounding board and a confidant for nearly 20 years of my life.  Someone who has been there as I've struggled with my issues, to listen, to advise, to compliment the bulge in my khakis.  I'm not sure where I would be without her.  OK, probably living in an apartment turning tricks for donut money.  But that's beside the point.

As often happens, our paths diverged.  She tired of small town life, small town people pulling a Gladys Cravitz and sticking their nose through the curtains to be sure they knew who was walking up to each door in the neighborhood.  So she moved on, to the big city of Des Moines, where you can hide in plain sight.  Closer to her family, her support, her loving parents and darling niece.  Where she can visit her son after work.  I get it.  But since this is all about sucks.

I miss our daily banter.  I miss being able to accidentally bump my dick into her shoulder.  Being able to make her laugh that big laugh.  But mostly I miss knowing that if I'm struggling, sad, lonely, mournful, or just need a boost, a trip to her cubicle would help me get through it.

Now she faces a challenge.  A big, fat, ugly, stupid challenge that way to many people, way to many families have to face.  And I want nothing more than to walk into that office and hug the living shit out of her.  But mostly, I want her to know how important she has been for me for most of my adult life.  And though we haven't spoken in person for, what, six months, and really had a chance to sit and talk for years, it would be the most natural thing in the world to sit down today and start right back up.

So to you, Lippzy, your sonshine, your hot mom, your daddy, and your darling niece...know that I am thinking about you, sending all the strength I can muster...and know I love you all.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

To hell with the Quirky Titles

It's really just too much work to be inventive and cute with my titles.  Maybe my cynical old age is finally catching up with me.

I was reminded I'm not being a very good blogger (at least from the volume of stuff I am putting out there).  Part of it is my reluctance to think anything I say is noteworthy or interesting to anyone out there, and part of it is the schedule I keep.  So this is my attempt to be more active, in Larry King People News and Views style.

I'm constantly disappointed by people, I have my expectations and the random person on the street fails to meet them most of the time.  This would be everything from littering, to upholding your end of a bargain, to ignoring requests at work, to voting in the Presidential election. (my bias might show there a bit)

Coworkers are a gift and a curse.  Today, a curse.  Hoping to get a gift tomorrow.

It's weird to be home alone, but yet very nice.  Sounds like it's about to come to an end.  I wish I had more fun to share, but there's been nothing.

A former friend is making bad decisions.  Ones that my wife is appalled and disgusted by.  Why do I want to reach out and be someone they could at least talk to?  Note that people all over our small town are talking about her, and I'm sure she has nowhere to turn.  And any kindness or humanity shown to her would be viewed poorly by everyone (and grounds for a huge fight with the wife). 

Is it weird that I want to be in an MMF right now?  That I so want to lick a cock and pussy that are banging away?  Or eat her while getting plowed from behind?

I've lost some weight.  Feeling better about how the clothes fit, etc.  Why is motivation to continue this beyond the initial push so hard?

If any of you can answer these or other questions...please let me know!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Trip Trifecta

Many times when I'm out and able, and am perusing the ads, I attempt to find a couple to hang with.  Call it a fantasy, or a kink, or whatever fits, but my eyes usually land on a couple looking for a third.  The ultimate fantasy (with my bi leanings) would be a MF couple, but that's only happened once, and was an OK experience, but would like to give it another shot.

This time, it happened through a regular hookup, and in conversation through A4A, this young asian bottom boy said he'd love it if I could find another top to fulfill his fantasy of really getting pounded by two guys.  I've never been great at party planning, but I gave it my best shot.  My first contact seemed promising, however he bailed when things took longer than anticipated.  A couple more attempts, and I found a fellow business traveler in the hotel down the road who was up for helping out.

My young friend arrived first, we made some small talk (he was graduating next week from the local college, had a job in town and would be moving downtown in a month.  He had a girlfriend who was aware he liked guys too, but didn't want to participate or even hear about it...the "don't ask, don't tell" of having a bi boyfriend, I suppose.

I asked what he wanted from us, he just said he wanted to be fucked by two guys, he's had one but always left wanting more.  I assured him that we would show him a good time.  Soon enough, a tap on the door let us know our other guest was here.  A taller, slender guy, with a buzzed head that showed the stubble of a light brown hair, and a similar length of beard that was just the right amount of fuzz.

The protocol of undressing interests me.  Most times, without a word spoken, someone takes the lead and the other(s) follow, whether it be to just climb into the bed clothed and undress as part of the strip down to underwear and/or shirt, so there's something to pull off when things get hot and heavy...or just to take everything off and get going.  This was a strip down and get down to business scenario.  (I think our third was heading out of town, and wanted to get going when things ended.  Can't blame him, I was in the same situation)

I was not disappointed as we got on either side of our bottom boy.  The darker, silky smooth skin contrasting against our two paler bodies, the fullness of his lips as we lightly kissed and touched each other, the unexpected bumping of hands, elbows and more as we each reached for an interesting new body part.  I tried to settle in and take in the sights, leaning back watching the other two hungrily kissing, rubbing and touching each other.  I watched C (the other top) work his way around D, licking and sucking his nipples, pulling on his dick, then going farther down and licking and sucking his cock and balls.  I went down and joined him, sucking while he licked, and licking while he sucked.  He soon moved farther down, placed D's legs over his shoulders, and ravaged his young hole with his tongue.  I moved back up to talk to D, asking him how it felt to have a hot tongue in his ass, and reminding him that it wouldn't be long until he had both our cocks in there.  His moans and breathy "yes..." told me he was ready to get started.

I took a minute to fluff C, he had grabbed a condom and the lube, and I sucked on his cock while he slicked up D's hole.  He was appreciative of the effort, but pulled away to turn his attention to our bottom.  Legs up, pillow under his lower back, and he was ready.  I massaged his chest and shoulders to help ease the initial sting of the invading member, then offered my own dick as a distraction.  He hungrily latched on, using a warm wet tongue to keep my unit excited.  He periodically came up for air, and moaned his approval at the dicking his ass was taking.  Again, I spent some time watching them fuck, seeing C's ass flexing as he pounded, and watching D take each thrust and push back wanting more.

C stopped, and offered me a chance at that ass.  I suited up, generously applied lube, and took my position between D's legs.  I could hear C in the bathroom cleaning up, but knowing that he was coming back in a bit.  I'll say at this point, I have a pretty decent sized cock.  And it is a bit of an ego boost to push into an ass, and hear that audible gasp, and be told how deep I'm pushing.  He told me how big I was, and how I was stretching him...which only made me swell more.

I leaned down to press my body into D's, and to feel those lips on mine again.  After some heavy making out, we were greeted with C's cock between us.  I can say without hesitation that this position, me with my cock up a hot young man's ass, and another dick in my mouth, is one of the hottest places and scenes I've ever been in.  I was hungrily devouring a nice cock, while mine was causing another to pant an moan, grabbing at my back and ass, pulling me in deeper.  In a perfect world, I'd be in this same spot (maybe adding a cock in my ass as well...) about once a week.  Pity it took so long for it to happen.

Wanting it to last longer, and feeling C getting harder, I stepped aside and offered D back to him.  He gladly flipped him over and entered again.  This time, after a quick cleanup, I stood straddling D's back, letting C suck on me while I pulled on his nipples.  It wasn't long until C's moans started, so I stepped back to watch him finish off inside of D.  Again, always interesting to see how others orgasms unfold.  C's hips bucked faster, and as he approached the finish line, he shuddered and spasmed a couple of times, letting out a low grown as he came.  I gave him a quick kiss and sent him back into the bathroom to clean up.

I checked in with D, ensuring that he still wanted to be fucked.  It was an enthusiastic yes, so I got back inside him.  He was on his stomach on the bed, and I was pressing into him with the full length of my cock, and pressing my full weight onto him.  "Is this what you wanted, two cocks taking turns on your tight little ass???"  "yes..." he hissed.  "You like having this big old cock filling you up?"  "yes..."  "Do you want me to unload and fill this condom in your ass?" "yes...".  With increasing speed and depth, increasing grunting and moaning, and finally a series of strong pounding thrusts, I blasted my load.  It was as intense as it was loud for me...which is usually not my style.  But with everything I'd experienced in the last 20 minutes, I was glad to express my gratitude and appreciation for the willingness of our young friend to entertain us.

So the good news is I got to participate in a fantasy for a nice guy, and he was very appreciative for the experience.  The better news is I head back to this fine city next year...hopefully to have the same types of experiences I had during this visit.

Back to my boring, normal existence.  But with memories of good times...

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Triple Trip Two

My second encounter, while at first blush more tame than the first, was very enjoyable in a different way.  It was certainly outside the box for me and my previous experience.

Another connection through A4A, this one was a quick turnaround from some messaging the night before.  With a screen name like "Top4U" one would think you would know what to expect when you finally got together.  But it certainly wasn't that way this time.

We arranged for him to come up to the room after work, before my evening commitment took me out for a while.  As the time drew nearer, he was a little more forceful about what he'd like when he got there.  I've never really done the whole dom/sub thing, this interested me a bit, just in the "let someone else take control" aspect.  His instructions were to respond to his message that he was on my floor by propping the door, and then being naked, on all fours on the bed.  I did as asked, although watching closely and ready to react if I didn't feel comfortable.

He entered the room, a medium height, very thin man of about 35.  He was wearing sunglasses, it was difficult for me to determine his ethnicity, although his dark hair and skin tone hinted at some asian blood.  He approached the bed, ran his hands over my back and ass, swatted my right cheek, and then moved me so I was on my back, looking up at him standing beside the bed.  "No marks", I said, and he assured me there wouldn't be.

My nipples were his first target, first pinching (a bit too hard for my liking, but I think that was the idea), then nibbling.  I did grunt and squirm a bit, it was a sharp pain that I'm not used to when being with someone.  I'm usually a lot more into passionate and tender, and both my experiences so far have been tinged with an attack on my sensitive nips.  Was it terrible?  No.  And I can't say I didn't like it a little...

I reached up to feel his chest, and was pushed away. I then leaned up and rubbed my face and mouth over his crotch, feeling the welcome swelling of his cock pressing against me.  The nipple assault was continuing, and drew my attention away from his jeans, and back to my abused chest.  I'll have to remember it's a pretty good way to get someone to stop doing what they're doing...

From this point, however, my experience turned to pretty vanilla.  For all the talk about being a top, he wasn't interested in fucking at all.  I wanted a mouth full of cock (I realize now how slutty that sounds...not apologizing...), and all I got was a tongue on his balls.  He continued to rub his hand on my while jacking off with the other.  I continued doing what I was doing, his encouragement was keeping me going. 

I finally heard the telltale sounds of imminent eruption, and for the first time received a load on my face.  I will say while unexpected, it was pretty hot.  It wasn't a huge load, but splashed across my face, and didn't taste bad either.  He was very quick to run and get me a warm rag to clean up with, which was much appreciated.

So sometimes we have an expectation, it doesn't head in the direction we thought it would, but turns out to be a good thing anyway.  I enjoyed my somewhat anonymous encounter and certainly opened my eyes up to future experiences where I'm more of a submissive participant. 

How about you?  Anything turn out unexpectedly, but still a good experience?

Monday, May 15, 2017

Triple Trip Travelogue

Part I

If you've followed my blog (and if you haven't, why the hell not?), you'll know that my times traveling on business are my best opportunity for some play time with guys.  My home life keeps me incredibly busy and it's difficult to squeeze any time for anything in outside of my responsibilities here.  So I was excited to go on a 3 night trip to another Midwest city, one I've never visited before.  A non eventful 5 hour drive got me to my destination about suppertime.

I had arranged through A4A a dinner with a couple that seemed to have similar stories to mine...married guys, wanting to explore guy stuff on the side.  Although when I got there, I found they were much more advanced than me...both married, but also more open with spouses than me, and had found each other and had a relationship of their own.  Kind of my semi-ideal, to have that regular buddy and friend (but without the "I'm only still with my wife for the financial arrangement" piece)

So A picked me up at the hotel about 7...B had a commitment until about 8:30, so we took a quick tour of downtown, and settle in at a bar in the older part of town.  An hour of good conversation followed, a drink, some appetizers, and then B arrived for a quick bite.  We finished up and headed back to my hotel.

After a slight delay (a phone call had to be made which took longer than expected), we were all up in my room and in various states of undress.  I enjoyed settling in to a long session of touching, stroking, kissing, and just getting to know each other.  Always interesting to see how different people are with their intimacy, one was a very aggressive kisser, the other more gentle.  B was really hard on my nipples, biting them a little harder than i would have liked normally, and when he wasn't biting them, he was pinching and twisting.  I tried to squirm a little and let him know he was being a little rough, but my guess is he thought that was enjoyment...which it was, a little.

We took turns all sucking and sharing each other's cocks.  Again, interesting differences.  A was firm but not hard, even with the work i was putting into it.  B was hard, and had copious amounts of pre-cum.  I'm not a huge fan of that, but what can you do, right?  I enjoyed the time spent on mine, but also got into watching them work on each other.  It was obvious they knew each other, and knew what each other liked.  I need to do more watching.. :)

They are both tops, so I was looking to maybe get to bottom alternately between the two.  A got good and hard, and started fucking my ass.  Slowly for the initial part, the adjustment, then harder.  It had been a while, so it was a good feeling.  Also, he wasn't so big that he was bruising my prostate, just a nice size for filling me up.  I was on my back with my head at the edge of the bed so i had access to B's cock for sucking.  I did a little sucking, a little moaning, and then I felt B splashing his cum across my chest.  A really liked the sight of that, giving it to me harder and moaning his encouragement.  I tried to be as good a fuck as i could, trying to match his strokes and squeeze his cock with my appeared to work, he gave a big groan and then pulled out.

B had gone and retrieved some warm soapy cloths and towels for cleanup, which helped a lot.  A went in and did a little bathroom work, returned, and told us that he hadn't cum yet.  I was a bit surprised, and wished he would have kept working my ass, I could have used it some more.  But he obviously wanted some head to finish B and I shared his cock until he blew on his own stomach.

I'm usually not a big player after I've cum, at least for a little while, but this was all right.  It was fun to work it together to make things happen.

We parted company with friendly hugs and kisses, with a promise that if I returned to their city I'd look them up.  I liked these guys...if I get there I just might.

Look for Part II later - the skinny visitor...

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Frustration, Frustration, and Frustration.

I feel frustration in areas of my wife and I's sex life is nearly non-existent, her health issues and general lack of desire have driven us to this spot.  It feels bad to me that I think about sex, and then feel guilty enough that I don't pursue it.  We're both busy people, have older children with acute awareness of what Mom and Dad are doing, so that doesn't help either.  It seems easy to say "oh, just shut and lock the door...parents need private time", yet doing it knowing that your 18 year old son could walk by the door and know what's going on is a bit disconcerting.

I feel work frustration around the feeling of being powerless.  I have control over parts of my work domain, however, when the company proclaims to want something, yet when you offer it up, nobody takes advantage of it...frustration sets in.  Especially considering that the people who are the most in need of the skill are those that won't show up to get it.  And I cannot require anyone to show up at a meeting, we need the support of their higher-ups, and it's not happening.

I feel frustration around my lack of man-time.  I'm doing some work after hours that takes me away from home (but not overnight) and my desire for some blow and go road strange is going unfulfilled as well.  Too many are willing to talk the talk, and then when the rubber hits the road, they flake out.  A 4 day long Grindr conversation suddenly goes silent as the date and time approaches.  I figure I'm being a bit anal regarding wanting to talk for a while and set up a rendezvous, but I'm also trying to do something that I figure will benefit both of us.  I guess not.

But I continue the self-flagellation of the chase, and hope that one day soon I'll find my friend-with-benefits prince (and/or princess) charming, who will open their home, mouth, and legs for us to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity of a bi guy down for anything.

(Oh, and I've got high blood pressure now, so I'm on restricted food.  Maybe that's why I'm cranky)