Irritants, Individuality, and Flip Flops

I'm Back!

Nice as it is being away from the routine and drudgery of the daily grind, when you've been mostly away from it for 5 weeks, it's good to get feet back on solid ground and start back with the familiar.  August is a busy time around the office, and there's plenty of work to be done in preparation.  So that's where I am now...settling in for the mad rush.

I miss the familiar when I'm gone.  The way my bed can lift my head up just that little bit.  Knowing where the supplies are when I run out of soap or shaving cream.  My chair.  Being able to sit around with just my underwear on and not worry about someone walking in.  And a thousand things more.  The comfort of the familiar is really what I miss when I'm away from home.  Which doesn't make me unique, I'm sure.

But I also enjoy my time away.  As a very intelligent blogger put it, sometimes it's nice to not have to answer to anyone, and roam around Target for as much or as little as I want.  You may be thinking...you are staying in a relationship and a marriage, and that's the cost of admission.  And you would mostly be right.  However, I'm also a believer that I am still an individual, as well as part of a couple.  At my wedding, during the unity candle, we left our individual candles burning to signify that while we were united as one on the big candle, we also maintained our identities as individuals.  In theory, but not so much in practice, it appears.

Whenever we spend 2 weeks together, there are irritations.  Small pebbles in the flip flop of life. (Can you tell I haven't worn regular shoes for a couple weeks?)  A couple steps is ok, and they usually slide out or I shake them off and move on.  But occasionally, it doesn't go away.  Each step is a reminder of the irritant, and it keeps going until I come to a full stop and take the shoe off and bang the rock out.

Where I'm going with my strange analogy is the irritation that can happen between two people with no space.  I get along with the wife 97% of the time.  But occasionally, when I feel put upon, or taken advantage of, I make it known that I'm irritated.  Followed by a lecture about my behavior, and me going off and pouting about it for a while.  Immature?  Maybe.  But it seems to take care of it.

I can't be perfect.  I can't think that every time she wants a Popsicle, that it should be my responsibility to go get it.  Or that because she doesn't like to talk on the phone, that I have to make every phone call, and I enjoy it. Frustrations are a part of life, and just getting it out helps me, but causes hard feelings when she witnesses it.  So I watch as much as I can and try to keep it under control.

So to circle back...time away from each other recharges my batteries.  And lets me be me without having to be perfect.  That's why I enjoy it.

I was hoping to have a story for you all, but all my leads dried up when I was away from the group for a day.  And the one hookup I've been working on from the next town over is out of state this week, bad timing since I will be home alone one night.  Never know, something could pop up!

Until next time...hugs and kisses.

Zip, Zero, and Nada

Quick note as I'm away from my routine, spending some much needed time with the family and not with the officemates.

Wish I had a cool story to tell, but a few missed connections, and I'm without any new adventures for a while.

Hope you all are doing well, lovely readers, and I shall be back soon to share more thoughts!

Anxiety, Extroversion, and Local Play

Heading north.

We will be away for a couple weeks, doing some work on the family business.  I hope to view and post periodically, but have limited access to the web (how many 78 year old widows have internet?  More than you'd think, i bet...)

I used to have a little more free time during this excursion, but times have changed, and responsibilities have grown.  Not sure how I got to be in charge of so many things.  I guess I want to see things succeed.  I do a lot of work for our hometown movie theater, with little to no compensation.  I jump in and help with committees.  I announce the occasional high school ball game.  It feels good to be active, to participate.  And honestly, when I'm home with nothing to do for a while (a short while is great...) I get a little stir crazy and want to do something.  Go to a ball game, catch a movie, hit the links... 

And there's a catch.  My wife is very introverted, and has some anxiety issues.  So while she would rather be in our house with our kids almost all the time, I would rather be out doing stuff.  So there's a bit of conflict at times when she feels like I'm always gone, and she's alone all the time.  It's a strange dynamic, she doesn't want to go out and do things, but doesn't want to be home alone.  I do worry about our empty nest years, when her desire to keep me home with conflict with my desire to be active. 

She also doesn't want a big group of friends, but her phone is constantly going off with text messages.  I rarely get a text except from our family.  My "friend group" consists of my coworkers (mostly women, and have their own friends), and husbands of my wife's friends.  I miss having some friends to do things with.

I wonder if some of my hangups with guys goes back to the bi thing.  Although I seem to get along with guys, it's taking that next step.  I have a bit of anxiety about such things as well, i think, putting myself out there is hard...

I think I'm an extroverted introvert.  That's a thing, right?

On the play front, I'm trying hard to connect with a local from the next town over, but our schedules haven't meshed yet.  And he has some connections to some additional playmates, i believe.  So it's a relationship worth cultivating. :)  Maybe even getting his wife involved?!?!? That's a new one there.

And how's your day?

Trips, Time Off, and Weight Journeys

I'm back, for now.  The business travel led directly into a vacation, and a holiday weekend.  And I have work this week, then a couple more off.  So it's strange, I've always felt guilty being away from work, and while there is a little of that, for the most part I'm enjoying it.  So maybe I'm turning over a new leaf in my old age!

I did have a recently found connection asking me when I'd be back, wanting to hook up.  So that's a positive, right? :)  Somebody awaiting my return!  It's only a moderate stretch of the truth, since my family does like having me around.  So much so that I can't drive the half hour home from work without a phone call asking where I am, how long I will be.  I realize that it's her insecurities that can't just let me drive in a car without checking in on me, but it does get a little tedious.  A typical 3 hour drive has at least 4 or 5 phone calls wondering where I am, how soon I'll get there...

We also had a stressful drive back home with car troubles, but we all handled it better than I suspected.  It's difficult to sit on the side of an interstate for an hour and a half waiting for assistance, so the fact that nobody freaked out or started getting upset was a win!  And it ends up that our car trouble also made us aware of another situation with our daughter's car, so it's good to get them all fixed up and running well.  Expensive, but good.

I did get a good look at myself in a few pictures from vacation, so the diet has started today.  She is more into having plans and structure, where I just want to cut back and eat better.  So, of course, we have planned meals, planned exercise, and an online diary to be sure we're doing it right.  Day 2, and I realize how much diet pop and sugar I was eating.  I'm crashing a bit from the lack of simple sugar and caffeine.  But that should pass quickly.  And I dropped 3 pounds on day one.  I need to get in a better place with my body (above the waist...my lower half is good as always. :)

I don't have a recent story to tell, maybe I can figure something out this week?  I know you're all waiting for my graphic descriptions.  How about you?  Any recent fun to brag about?